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2020.08.28 18:09 HaulA28AuglTop Ten G-ay S-ex Da-ting New
2020.08.18 04:22 welcometosouthappWelcome to South App #4: "Outside 101"
Monday, August 17th, 2020 Winston Beavers was having a very bad day. It all began at 5 AM when his phone alarm vibrated. He rolled over on his belly and silenced it before it could wake Tai. It was the first day of class, but Winston wasn’t rising early to drink coffee and read the student newspaper. Instead, he grabbed his trusty silk tie and used it to hang his tablet from the sprinkler head. He slipped his headphones on, booted up some porn, and got straight down to business with both hands. Now his contraption was holding on by faith and faith alone. But Winston paid no mind. He listened to Irish redheads moaning in his ear while he arched his back and curled his toes. And with each passing second, the weight of the tablet began to wear on the old, rusty sprinkler head. So, when Winston exploded, so did that sprinkler head. “Fuck!” Winston yelled, choking on a mouthful of rusty water. He tumbled off the top bunk, landing square on his ass. He scrambled to his feet, grabbed a binder from his desk, and rushed out the room - slipping on the puddle on his way out. Tai was already in the hallway, naked and wrapped in a wet blanket. “What the hell, asshole?!” Tai blurted out, shivering with his laptop and backpack in each hand. “I told you not to jerk off like that!” “Save your breath, partner,” Winston reassured him. “This here binder is the only important thing in that goddamn room.” As water seeped into the hallway, Winston reckoned his luck had finally run out. Earlier this week, the Asheville PD had informed him that his prized Single Action Army was nowhere to be found in evidence. But he still had his precious binder, with the letters BDE inscribed on the spine. And when the water was finally shut off, Winston stuffed the binder back in his desk and made Tai pinky swear to keep it a secret. *** A few hours later, Tai sat on the sofa in a local Asheville coffee shop with a drink and a bible in front of him. “As your wing-woman, I shall provide some friendly reminders!” Gigi cheerfully told Tai over the phone. “Make sure you’re facing the door so you can see when he comes in. Oh, and remember the order of operations: turn a page, sip your drink, make eye contact. Turn, sip, eyes!” “Uh, are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Tai whispered, as sleepy, hungover students filed in. “I’m setting you up on an impromptu date on a Monday morning, am I not?” “And have you run this strategy by amateur wingman extraordinaire Winston Beavers?” Gigi paused. “Winston and I are...no longer on speaking terms. Sorry! I do not consent to any conversation about the aforementioned obnoxious brute whatsoever. Good luck!” Gigi hung up. So Tai, who had never touched a bible, flipped to Ephesians like Gigi had coached him before. In fact, she’d planned out everything down to the last detail: the NIV version of the bible, the iced caramel macchiato, and the red and white checkerboard Vans he wore. But Tai’s mind wandered to a more interesting book that he also had not yet read. He wanted to know what the hell was in Winston’s binder. Suddenly, Jacky California walked into the cafe. Showtime. His 7:30 coffee break was expected. (Gigi found Jacky’s schedule on Facebook, and a quick visit to this cafe before 8 AM Intermediate Spanish just made sense.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Jacky waited in line, wearing a slim-fit red Abercrombie polo, bleached holy jeans, and his prized red and white checkerboard Vans. And his shoe decision, yet again, was also expected. (Gigi discovered that Jacky had only two classes on Monday, influencing his choice in that comfy pair of shoes that he wore in his profile pic). Check. Turn, sip, eyes. When Jacky stepped up to the counter, he ordered an iced caramel macchiato. And, once again, Gigi predicted this move. (Whatever the weather, Jacky’s SoCal roots virtually guaranteed an icy, watered-down coffee approach. Not to mention, nobody drinks hot coffee after sitting in the tanning bed for 30 minutes. Which, according to Gigi’s sleuthing, Jacky partook in every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.) Check. Turn, sip, eyes. Finally, while waiting for his order, Jacky pulled out his NIV study bible and flipped to the Book of Acts. (This time, Gigi was only partially off-base. His Facebook modeling photos were actually captioned with Ephesians bible verses. Nothing a quick fix couldn’t remedy). So Tai flipped straight to Acts, took a long sip of his macchiato, and made direct eye contact with Jacky as he walked over. “Bro, this is freakin’ gnarly!” Jacky said in disbelief, pointing out their matching shoes, bible, and drink. “This is some righteous Revelation-level prophecy if I’ve ever seen it. Hey, my name’s Jacky. Is this seat ocupado?” *** “Oh no!” Claire exclaimed, stroking Winston's fuzzy beard. “I’m, like, totally sorry about my stud’s mishap this morning!” “Thank ya, peach pie,” Winston said, shaking his head. “I reckon they’ll move my ass to the broom closet and hang me out to dry.” Claire and Winston were sitting in the Rec Center courtyard in athletic gear, along with several other hungover students. This was the Outdoors Adventures Seminar, AKA “Outside 101.” For many, it was a breezy way to snag the required Health and Fitness credit hour. And that's exactly why Gigi and Frank were also in this class. They sat on the opposite side of the courtyard, quietly gossipping and shooting the occasional glance their way. “Your friends over there are, like, totally ignoring us!” Claire piped up, tugging Winston’s sleeve. “That’s, like, so rude.” “Don’t trouble yourself, puddin’ muffin. They just ain’t ready for us yet.” “And, like, oh my God! Ryan flat-out told me those are, like, the two people who broke into the frat house and blew up his daddy’s ashes! They are, like, total thugs. Ew!” “Ah, my sister explained to me that it was a big misunderstanding, bundt cake,” Winston replied, feigning interest. “Well, you should totally talk some sense to that Asian friend of yours, or else this class is gonna be, like, hella awkward,” Claire suggested. “She has, like, a salt and vinegar chip on her shoulder! It’s, like, totally not my fault that I can pull off a sports bra while she’s wearing those baggy clothes!” True enough, Gigi and Frank had been giving them the cold shoulder ever since the frat house raid. For Frank, this was because of Winston’s affiliation with Claire Dansby and the notorious fraternity she represented. As for Gigi, it was more simple and personal: the lap dance. “Ahoy, ladies and germs!” greeted the rugged Australian instructor, decked out in bushman’s gear. “My name is Angus, and I want to welcome ya to Outside 101. While you shop different classes, I indeed hope you’ll choose to spend your semester with us. Today is the Gauntlet Challenge, where we’ll break off into groups and compete for a mighty fine prize!” With that, Angus hurled an ax at a target behind the students. Bullseye. Everyone stood up to clap and cheer. “Now, everybody come up front and grab yourselves a fine ole’ nametag so we know who you are!” Winston sprung up and headed for the front of the line. Gigi stood with her back to him, her long black hair draping over her Under Armor tank top. He cleared his throat. “Howdy. Looks like we’re gonna be getting a workout in today. So hey, can I have a word with ya in private?” She spun around, showing him a forced smile. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t consent to this conversation.” With that, she grabbed a nametag and wrote “Gigi.” Winston cocked his head. “So, I seem to recall Sarah telling me that you’ve got a South Korean name that only your father calls you.” “Ah, but what’s in a name anywho?” pondered Frank, stepping forward. “Sir Winston, I wish to extend a sincere congratulations to your acceptance into the Beta Delta Epsilon Sausage Club. And to that brazen bull of a woman under your thumb. Alas, a braver man than me are you!” Gigi narrowed her eyes at Winston. “You don’t know my real name?” she stated matter-of-factly. “Do you even know me at all?” Frank and Gigi walked back to their seat. The hair stood up on the back of Winston’s neck. But before he could retort, two late students entered the courtyard. “Hey, what’s up dudes and dudettes?” Jacky greeted casually. “Sorry we’re late. We couldn’t find the-" “Hellooo everyone!” Tai greeted the class flamboyantly. “Jacky-boy, I hope you’re ready for a totally fabulous time! Ready to sweat? Oh, will you look at the sports bra on that blonde gal over here! Looks like Victoria can’t keep her secret for long. Am I right, Tai? Hey, boo-boo! Yes, you in the sports bra. You are killing it!” Claire giggled, thanking Tai. But he and Jacky wound up sitting next to Gigi and Frank instead, introducing each other. Winston watched from afar, shaking his head. So this is how my roommate acts when he’s no longer single, he thought. Then, when no one was watching, Winston reached into his pocket and pulled out a 20-dollar bill. “Oi, Steve Irwin,” Winston whispered to Angus, slipping him the money. “I need ya to put me and my friends together in a group.” Winston pointed out his four friends, scribbled “BAMF” on a nametag, and walked confidently back to his seat. Then, when Gigi was watching, he gave Claire a sloppy, wet kiss. *** “First elimination challenge is ax throwing!” Angus announced, behind the wheel of a Volkswagen VW bus. “The world’s second-oldest profession.” Per request, Angus had formed a group out of Winston, Claire, Frank, Gigi, Tai, and Jacky. Now, he was driving them to a deserted field at the base of Mount Pisgah in the Asheville wilderness. Once they arrived, he set up a huge wooden target, then tossed Winston an ax. “Now you look like a bloke who’s done this before!” Angus remarked. “Hell, my daddy had to put a lock on the shed,” Winston bragged. “Winston is, like, totally a wild man when it comes to the outdoors!” Claire chimed in. “I’m, like, super-stoked for him to totally man-handle me in the bedroom.” The other four cringed at each other. Then, Winston reared back and hurled the ax with two hands, hitting a large ring. “Three points!” Angus called out. “Claire, think you can conquer this beast?” Claire stepped forward and grabbed an ax. As a former high school cheerleader, she hid some muscles under her small frame. But what surprised everybody was how she tossed hers one-handed. She hit an inner ring: a five-pointer. “This, like, ain’t my first rodeo, cowboy!” Claire teased. She brazenly grabbed another ax and under-handed it to Gigi. She yelped, but Frank stepped in and caught it. “My stars!” he said to Claire. “A woman so supple, yet so brazen around the edges. A fine mistress you doth make!” Winston walked over to Gigi and gave her a puzzled look. “In the words of Richard III,” he began. “It looks Frank would trade his kingdom for a whore.” “Um...since when have you started dabbling in Old English plays?” Gigi asked, a bit uneasy. “Looks like you don’t know me much at all yourself.” Gigi blushed, either enraged or embarrassed. She left him to stand next to her boyfriend. Then, Frank performed a one-handed throw, landing an inner ring. “Five points for Shakespeare!” Angus cheered. “Let’s see if Miss Hathaway can cut the mustard.” Before Frank handed Gigi the ax, she was already tense. He helped her hold it with two hands in a beginner’s stance. “But soft!” he said, as Gigi took aim. “Plant it straight in the heart! Just like I shall soon plant my seed in your womb.” Flustered and distracted, she heaved the ax for an outer ring. “Oi, only one point,” Angus declared. “Better hope our last two competitors think off target!” Jacky grabbed an ax and faced Gigi. “Bro, your boyfriend’s a perv. And so is that chick.” Jacky pointed straight at Claire. She giggled obnoxiously, flicking her long blonde hair. Jacky rolled his eyes. “God, please bring this lost sheep home,” he quietly prayed. He flung it from over the shoulder, missing the target completely. “Ah, I can tell you’re fancy a boomerang by the way you throw that bugger!” Angus chuckled. “Our first elimination. Last one, come on down!” Before Tai could grab his ax, Gigi pulled him aside. “Um, as your fellow wing-woman,” she started, “I suggest you launch the caveman hunting apparatus into the margins for the express purpose of aborting and creating a more intimate scenario with your beloved wave rider.” Now Tai had grown a little closer with Gigi ever since she matched him up with Jacky. But all he could muster was a blank stare. Gigi leaned in closer. “Lose on purpose so you can be alone with him!” she hissed. “Oh, got it,” Tai whispered back. “Hey, Gigi? Do ya think I can borrow your room for a bit? There’s no way Jacky can find out I live in a flooded swamp.” Suddenly, Jacky’s ax boomerang came twirling back around, heading straight for Tai. He jumped to the side with a shriek, watching the ax fly into a tree. “Righteous!” Jacky cheered, running back to fetch it. So with that in mind, Tai took aim and tossed his ax boomerang-style. As intended, it went flying far and wide past the target. “And Tai and Jacky have been eliminated!” Angus declared. “That means the rest of ya advance to our next challenge. And an impressive performance from the blonde bombshell and Italian stallion, I might add.” Claire walked up to Frank and slapped his ass. “Looks like we pervs, like, totally got it going on!” Winston and Gigi stared at each other in shock. But before they knew it, Tai’s ax boomerang came soaring back, nailing the side of Angus’ Volkswagen. *** “FIX THE FUCKING AC,” growled Evelyn the RA in a low, demonic voice. “I WILL BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE GROUND.” In Sarah and Gigi’s room, Tai and Jacky had taken shelter from this emo demon, who was now stomping up and down the hallway. Sure enough, the AC was broken again. And after Tai had escorted Jacky up seven flights of stairs to “his” room, they’d found it virtually impossible to stop sweating. “So let’s dive into Genesis 5 where we left off,” Jacky suggested, as they sat together on the futon. “It’s a little gnarly since it’s all genealogy. We’ll have to quiz each other when we’re done so we make sure we got it down pat!” Jacky cracked open the bible, just as Evelyn screamed from the hallway. They rushed to the door and peeked out. Evelyn had let down her jet-black hair and had smeared mascara on her, sweating pale face. She locked eyes with the two young men. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?” the demon within her tremored. They quickly shut the door and got back to their bible study. “Well...anyway, this is the written account of Adam’s family line,” Jacky read. “Basically, this is gonna be a righteous heck-ton of funky names to remember. My youth pastor showed me an easy way to memorize them, where-” Death metal blared in the hallway. Over the heavy muted guitar and the rapid-fire double bass, Evelyn released a primal roar. “So yeah, an easy way to memorize the names is word association!” the sweating Jacky yelled over the screeching guitar solo. “For example, take Adam and Seth, who-” “EVERYBODY BREAK SHIT,” Evelyn screamed, as the deafening breakdown began. Tai rushed to the door and peeked out again. This time, she was breaking off a long fluorescent light tube from the ceiling. Several of her female hallmates observed like visitors at a zoo. Evelyn reared back and smashed the wall, shattering the light into pieces. “All right, bro,” Jacky finally sighed, shutting the bible and standing up. “Look, let’s just go to your actual room.” “W-what?” Tai stuttered, closing the door. “Come on brochacho,” Jacky said, slicking back his long blonde hair. “You think I didn’t catch on? There are the female girls in the hallway with the female devil incarnate. Not to mention the…dreadful taste in bedroom decor in whoever’s room this is. Come on, man. I wanna see the real you.” They stared into each other's' cool grey eyes. Finally, Tai nodded and reached out to shake on it. Instead, Jacky held his hand and interlocked his fingers. They sneaked out into the hallway, and Jacky led the way to Tai’s room. “H-how do you know where we’re going?” Tai asked. “I’m your mailman,” Jacky answered, giving his hand a squeeze. “I know a lot more about you than you think. Heck, don’t even get me started on your roommate’s male enhancement subscription.” As they descended the stairs, a herd of female students tried to restrain the spawn of Satan in the hall. *** “Next up is the zip-line races!” Angus announced. He drove the four competitors deep into the Pisgah National Forest with the ax still lodged in the van. He slowed to a stop in a green, tranquil meadow where sunlight peeked through the treetops. There, two huge zip-lines ran from the tops of starting platforms, all the way to a platform on the far side of the clearing. Angus passed out a few safety harnesses, and everyone suited up. “Mine’s, like, a little too big!” Claire whined. “Gigi, you should totally trade with me since you have a tad more cushion for the pushin’! Hey, at least your boobs are smaller than mine! That, like, must be so convenient.” Gigi ignored her, hooking herself to the lane behind Winston. Claire attached herself to the lane behind Frank. And Angus began the long walk toward the finish line platform. Now out of earshot, both groups began climbing the long rope ladders up to their platforms. Winston purposefully took his time. Halfway up the ladder, Winston stopped and looked down at Gigi. “Hey, I know I’m being stubborn,” Winston said. “But I really wanna talk to you, if you’ll have me. Just give me a chance to explain-" “She’s a total bitch!” Gigi hissed, surprising even herself. “If you’re dating her, we’re no longer friends.” Frustrated and torn, Winston sighed. “Right. I reckon actions speak louder than words anyway.” He reached into his shorts pocket and pulled out a mini can of WD-40. Then, he proceeded to spray the shit out of both of their zip-line hooks. “W-what the hell is wrong with you?” Gigi exclaimed, choking on the fumes. “WD-40 is God’s lubricant,” Winston explained. “Now we’ll have a little speed boost when we race ‘em. Sorry, buddy, but I need us both to win so we have some alone time to sort things out.” “You’re being absolutely ridiculous!” Gigi said, flabbergasted. “I realize that. So I reckon I’ll make you an offer. When it’s me versus you at the finals, I’ll let you win so you get the Lazy Basil gift card. Deal?” Suddenly, Gigi’s big, brown eyes shot open and her countenance sang a different tune. Lazy Basil was the finest Italian restaurant in all of Asheville - maybe all of North Carolina. And Frank would not be cooking her an Italian dinner until this Friday. After tasting a little bit of chocolate every day to prepare her body for cheese, she could not wait a day longer. “Pray tell!” Frank suddenly yelled, looking down from his platform at the stragglers. “Art thou stuck on the ladder, Sir Winston? Mayhaps we require usage of a construction crane to haul up your portly frame.” Winston grunted, then spat on the ground. “So what was that you were saying about my girlfriend being a bitch?” Winston asked Gigi. Reaching the top of the ladder, Winston and Gigi stepped onto the platform. A perfect view of the bright green hemlock trees of the Pisgah National Forest. From the finish line platform, Angus pumped his fist. “Let’s get these wagon wheels a’rollin’!” his voice echoed across the forest. “Fellas up first!” Winston made the mistake of looking down at the endless ocean of treetops. Stomach lurching, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Then, hands trembling, he moved his greased-up zip-line hook to the starting position. Gigi tapped his shoulder. “Are you...afraid of heights?” she asked, more like a mother than a caring friend. A sudden breeze caused their platform to sway ever-so-slightly. Winston hunched over and vomited his morning screwdriver into a nest of endangered birds. He wiped his mouth and looked up at Frank’s shit-eating grin. Winston simultaneously flicked him off while giving Angus a thumbs up. “Ah, we’ve got ourselves a fighter!” Angus called out. “Ready. Set. Go!” Winston and Frank kicked off their platforms, soaring over the forest. Sure enough, his WD-40 hack gave him the extra acceleration he needed. He held a clear lead over Frank as Angus’ platform grew closer and closer. Not even Frank’s Italian expletives could stop him. “Wiiinston wins!” Angus cheered, as Winston whizzed up to the platform. And only a split-second later, Frank came in hot, landing gracefully. “I underestimated thy aerodynamic stature!” Frank admitted. “Mayhaps I too require an uptick in fine American cuisine, say steak and potatoes?” Back at the starting line, Gigi grabbed her hook and slid it into a starting position. She looked up at her hands, now slick with grease. “I’m, like, totally sorry about being so rude earlier,” Claire said, making a pouting face. “Look, if you let me win, you get to leave class early with Frank, and I can have the gift card! And not to be totally awkward, but I think you could, like, have a super-hot figure without that Italian food in your diet.” Two minutes later. “Gigi wins!” Angus cheered, as she came careening to the finish line. A split second later, Claire came flying by - seething. “Like, it’s totally not fair!” Claire cried, stomping her feet. “Gigi, like, totally called me a hashtag raging thundercunt! It, like-like-like-like-like, totally distracted me from the race!” Again, more crocodile tears while Claire buried her face in Winston’s shoulder. “Woe is me!” Frank cried out, grabbing her shoulders. “Oh, the humanity! Alas, say you did no such thing!” “There, there,” Winston said nonchalantly, patting Claire’s head like a dog. “I’m sure it ain’t that serious.” Angus covered his mouth. “Oi, Miss Gigi: did you in fact call Lady Claire a raging thundercunt?” Gigi politely crossed her hands in front of her waist, her messy black hair cascading over her pale face. And then: a tell-all smile. “Well, you know we handle potty-mouths in Australia, right?” Angus asked. “We fuckin’ celebrate ‘em! And as for sore losers? We make ‘em walk the plank!” Angus shoved Claire and Frank off the platform. They screamed until the cable pulled taut, leaving them dangling in midair. “Congratulations, ya raging thundercunts!” Angus said to Winston and Gigi. “Now off to the finals we go. And doncha’ worry, ya blimey losers. My teaching assistant will come get ya down and give ya a comfy ride straight back to campus!” Winston and Gigi climbed down the ladder and followed Angus out of the woods, leaving Frank and Claire as dinner for vultures. When the two were alone, Claire kicked off her tennis shoes and stretched out, showing off her flat stomach. “I, like, always thought I had sex in every possible position!” Claire reflected. “Well, except for the Amazon position, since my fraternity forbids it. Awwwkward! But I’ve, like, totally never had sex in midair. Should we try it, Frank?” *** It was a manic scene in the 700 Hall of Firewater. Hesitant to get the police involved, Evelyn’s roommates were in the process of summoning a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism. But she was no longer Tai and Jacky’s concern. The muffled screams, crashes, and bangs faded in the distance as the two guys entered the 300 Hall. “We’re actually...not supposed to be here,” Tai cautioned, placing his hand on the doorknob to his room. “How come, brotherman?” Jacky asked. “It’s my roommate: Winston. There’s something in there that he doesn’t want me to know about. And he made me promise to not even let any visitors in our room.” “So did he get it in writing, with a notary standing by?” Jacky joked. “Pinky swear,” Tai corrected. “Far out,” Jacky marveled. “That’s some next-level serious business.” Jacky chuckled, slicking his hair back. “So let me ask this about your roommate: would he rather us be in your room, or his sister’s room?” Tai froze. Finally, he unlocked the door. “Touché.” The mildew hit them like a freight train. The mattresses, rug, and futon cushion were all gone. Besides that, Jacky was standing in a typical college dorm. A football schedule and Megan Fox poster on Winston’s side. Video game and anime posters on Tai’s side. A dirty microwave and a mini-fridge, probably filled with light beer and leftover Chinese takeout. Tai sat on the metal futon frame and patted the spot next to him. “So, what if we used flashcards to memorize some of those biblical names? It’s important for me to - WHAAA-!” Jacky was frantically searching through Winston’s drawers. “Bingo, my man!” He held up the binder and read the spine. “What’s BDE anyway? Does it stand for big...uh, big-penis energy? Sounds like your roomie has some gnarly ego issues.” Distracting himself, Tai opened the bible in his trembling hands. “So...uh...there’s Shem...Ham...and Japeth, the three sons of-” Jacky plopped down next to Tai and opened the binder. “Dude! Do you know what this is?” Tai looked down at pages upon pages of driver’s licenses in card sleeves. Every race, creed, and gender under the sun. And all featured photos that could pass for any young-looking 21-year-old. Tai and Jacky had just uncovered Beta Delta Epsilon’s secret fake ID operation. Jacky searched through a few pages, and finally pulled out an ID that could pass for Tai. He removed it from the sleeve and placed it in Tai’s shaking hand. Then, he sat on his lap and held up an ID of a tan white guy with blonde hair. “I don’t wanna talk about Shem and Ham, my dude,” Jacky declared. “I wanna talk about our new legal names: Caleb and Demitri.” “Ah, now I have an actual black guy’s name,” Tai chuckled, forcing a smirk. Suddenly, he slipped his hand up Jacky’s shirt, feeling his rock-hard abs. “I, uh...so do you want to roleplay...Caleb?” “Not just roleplay, my dude,” Jacky whispered into Tai’s ear, nuzzling his cheek. “I want to help other people roleplay. Dude! What if we stole these fake ID’s and sold them to every underage student on campus? Think of how freaking righteous that money would be!” Tai’s heart raced as Jacky swung his legs over Tai’s waist, straddling him. Jacky ran his lips from his collarbone to his ear. “That’s...illegal,” Tai moaned softly. “Not to mention a little ungodly.” “Maybe so,” Jacky said, nibbling his ear. “But I follow God, not the world. Some people don’t know the difference. “Caleb” and “Dimitri” rolled off the futon, kissing, biting, and scratching each other until the clothes flew off. And little did they know Evelyn was scouring the 300 Hall with a chef’s knife in her hand, searching for them. *** “The grand finale!” Angus announced. “The rock climbing wall!” Angus led Winston and Gigi to a huge rock wall on the face of the Pisgah Mountains. This time, there was no cheat code in the world that would work in Winston’s favor. While his upper-body strength toppled that of Gigi, he was simply hauling a much larger load. “The rumors are true!” Angus chuckled. “There is a 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift card up for grabs for the first one to reach the top.” He strapped Winston and Gigi to the climbing cables, then took a step back. The trembling Winston glanced over at the cool, confident Gigi. “It looks like it’s just me and you, buddy,” he said. “So, do ya reckon you can tell me what I can do to make things right?” “Go, go, go!” Angus suddenly shouted. Gigi, quick and nimble, jumped straight up and grabbed her first hold. With ease, she began traversing the wall like an orangutan. Winston chugged along, contorting his body in awkward positions just to keep from falling. “Look, Gigi!” Winston called out. “I hate that it’s like this between us. Man, I just wanna know what I can do. Hell, you can have my purple V-neck shirt that you accidentally stole.” No response still. She worked swiftly and calmly as she approached the halfway point. Winston caught a lucky break, catching some easy holds as he covered a few feet. But there was no way in hell he could match Gigi’s steady pace. Plus, the higher he got, the higher the screwdriver rose in his throat. Desperate, Winston reached around with one hand and unstrapped his vest. “Oi, what the fuck are ya doing, mate?” Angus spat from far down below. Winston slipped out of the vest and pushed it to the side. Now, he was climbing freely. Fear coursed through his veins, but so did adrenaline. He used that stress to heave himself up much faster than before. Gigi, now past the halfway point, looked down to see Winston’s pleading eyes looking up at her. “Gigi, I’m sorry!” Winston yelled. “Look, I...I can’t honestly tell you that I’m sorry for meeting up with Claire at the house. Because I’m not. But fuck, I’m sorry you had to walk in and see it! And...I’m plum-fuckin’ sorry I didn’t consider your feelings for me at the time. I reckon that ship has sailed. But fuck, I don’t wanna lose our friendship over it, Gigi!” Gigi smiled at Winston for the first time that day. She shut her eyes tightly, fighting to block the tears. When she opened them again, Winston’s white knuckles curled around a tough hold. “I’m not sure how long I can hold on, partner,” Winston groaned, smiling weakly. Slowly, piss began running down his leg, trickling a long way down to the ground below. Gigi began quickly backtracking, holding her breath. “Winston,” Gigi consoled him calmly, now by his side. “I need you...I need you to reach out and hold me. Don’t let me go.” He took a deep breath, then wrapped his arms around Gigi’s slim waist. His legs dangled free, supported only by her. Breathing heavily, Gigi kicked off the rock facing. Slowly, they began to descend. “My real name is Ji-hye,” she said, as they approached solid ground. “Ji-hye,” Winston repeated, his heart pounding as he held her in a death grip. “So, uh...why did you wanna tell me that?” “Um...because we’re friends again!” she cheered, as they reached the bottom. But before he could release her, Angus yanked his collar and held a hunting knife to his throat. His hair and face were drenched in Winston’s piss. “Oi, I oughta gut you like a fuckin’ fish, ya blimey bastard!” “Wait, it’s not his fault!” Gigi interjected. “Um...a yellowjacket got caught between his shirt and vest and stung him pretty bad. He’s allergic, so he had no choice but to take it off!” Angus cocked his head, letting her words marinate like the piss in his hair. Then, a proper belly laugh. He gave Winston a shove and put the knife away. “Yellowjackets?! Why, you Americans and bonafide pussies, that’s what ya are! Oi, you wouldn’t last a second down unda!” Angus reached in his pocket and pulled out two 50-dollar Lazy Basil gift cards. “Fuck it, take ‘em both. After all, that was a mighty impressive showing of teamwork up there!” Winston cleared his throat and held his hand up. “Thanks for the offer, Angus. But I’m a proud conservative. And I don’t need no goddamn participation trophies.” Gigi socked him in the stomach. “Accept the gift card or we’re no longer friends!” she hissed, salivating over her imminent cheese dream. *** “YOU HAVE SOMETHING I WANT,” the demon growled in the hallway. Evelyn slowly dragged her chef’s knife across the door of Room 309 - a knife much larger than Angus’. Tai stared out the peephole, then rushed to the futon to grab his bible. “We need to perform an exorcism ourselves!” Tai suggested, wearing nothing but bright blue boxers with coconut patterns. “RIghteous idea, my man!” Jacky replied, donning yellow pineapple briefs. “The word of God is an indispensable weapon during the end times that we live in!” Tai stared out the peephole again. Now, a senile Evelyn gently tapped the door with the tip of her knife. “Hey, uh, Evelyn,” Tai called out softly. “Why don’t we comb through Genesis together? I sure could use your help in memorizing the lineage of Adam!” “NO BIBLE. I WILL STRANGLE YOU WITH YOUR INTESTINES!” Jacky gave a thumbs up from the frame of the futon. “See, it’s working! That’s the devil in her trying to resist. But no man, woman, or spawn of Satan could possibly resist the righteous infallible word of God!” Tai chuckled, half-nervous and half-relieved. Then, he opened the door halfway. “Welcome to our bible study, Evelyn! So if you would have a seat on our super comfy futon, we can-" Suddenly, Tai lept behind the door as Evelyn charged through the room with her knife held high. “DIE! DIE! DIE!” she shrieked, heading straight for Jacky. He swiftly rolled under the futon frame, as Evelyn began stabbing through it, aiming for the head. “Fuck!” Tai screamed, frantically flipping to Genesis 5. “Um, um...let the power of Christ compel you with His holy word! Enoch begat Methuselah, and Methuselah begat Lamech, and Lamech begat Noah!” “WHY CAN’T I HAVE WHAT YOU HAVE?” Evelyn screamed. While Jacky cowered in a fetal position, she reared back and stabbed a hole in the wall. “Oh, Evelyyyn?” Sarah Beavers called out, stepping into the room. Evelyn spun around to face her, tears and mascara running down her face. She dropped the knife. Then, she swiveled her head around the room, dazed and confused. “Oh...no,” Evelyn whispered in her normal voice. “Sarah, I did something bad, didn’t I?” “Shush, it’s all gravy,” Sarah assured her, while Tai and Jacky looked at each other in shock. “Boys, let this be a lesson to you. Envy possessed Evelyn today. Not only was she envious of your AC, but also of your totally-rad same-sex relationship.” Tai and Jacky realized they were still half-naked, and that it was too late to hide it. Evelyn, moaning softly, crawled over to Sarah and lay her head on her lap. Then, she began playing with Sarah’s dangling dreadlocks. “Now, now - no touchy-feely of the genitals,” Sarah politely warned her. “An asexual chick like myself ain’t no lamp in a corner, ya dig?” Then, Sarah spotted the BDE binder on Tai’s desk. Cocking her head to the side, she slowly stood up to take a closer look. “Shit,” Tai whispered to Jacky. “What do we do?” “We can’t let her know about our operation,” Jacky whispered back. “So, if my inner chi serves me well,” Sarah began, flipping through the pages. “You two plan on stealing Beta Delta Epsilon's fake ID collection from Winston, in a grand scheme to sell them to underage students?” “What in the H-E-double-hockey-sticks?” Jacky whispered to Tai. “A psychic hippie? What kind of friends are you rolling with, bro?” “I can hear you,” Sarah advised. She sat down next to Evelyn and slipped out an ID of a brunette hipster girl with straight hair. “It’s a crying shame that Winston didn’t think to include any white girls with dreadlocks. Simple-minded if you ask me. Oh! Evelyn, I found an ID just for you. See, she looks just like the chick from The Ring.” “I will eat your soul,” Evelyn said in her normal voice. Suddenly, she pinned Sarah down and started tickling the hell out of her. “Wait, so you’re not mad?” Tai asked Sarah, watching Evelyn win the completely non-sexual “game.” Sarah caught her breath from her massive tickle-fit. Then, she snapped the binder shut. “Mad? Are you high? I’m a broke college student too. As a matter of fact, if you’re going to be making crazy money, I want in on it too. Evelyn and I both want in. And nobody, I mean nobody, breathes a word of this to my brother.” *** Nine outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls. Gigi slipped her phone back into her purse, fighting the urge to make it 10. On that windy night, she stood in downtown Asheville in front of Lazy Basil, waiting for Frank to fall from the sky. She was dressed up in a black polka-dot maxi dress with a white bow in her hair, knowing that she would be turned away for so much as thinking about blue jeans. She grabbed a menu and read through the appetizers. Tempura Fried Calamari? Maybe. Chunky Spinach and Artichoke Dip? Eh. And then, her big brown eyes widened when she saw it. Caprese salad: fresh buffalo mozzarella topped with local organic tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, and fresh basil leaves from our herb garden. “So he stood ya up, huh?” Winston leaned against the streetlight in a black suit and tie. He took a final puff on his cigar, tossed it, then walked over to Gigi to read her menu. And like always, the smell of tobacco was masked by Winston’s signature sandalwood cologne. “I can’t decide if I want the loaded macaroni and cheese,” Winston pondered, “or the fried cheese logs with marinara. Hey, ya reckon we could order one of each and share?” Gigi wiped drool from the side of her mouth and came to her senses. “Um...wait, you’re not here for a date with Claire?” Winston took out his phone and showed her the screen. Sixty-eight outgoing calls. Zero incoming calls. “Reckon I should try to call her one last time?” he asked with a grin. “I mean, I don’t wanna come off like a simp or nothin’.” Fifteen minutes later, they were seated at a candlelit table for two. While they sipped on large glasses of red Moscato, Gigi explained her lactose intolerance and Frank’s plans to introduce her to cheese for the first time. “So let me get this straight,” Winston said, leaning in. “You consider this cheating on your boyfriend, don’t you?” “Um...well, it has nothing to do with you!” Gigi laughed nervously. “It’s...well, it’s cheating if I eat that.” The waiter came over with a platter of Caprese salad and a refill of red wine. Winston picked up a soft, fluffy cheese disc and tore it in half. “I’m not a betting man. But I wager if your boyfriend wanted to have dinner with you, he’d be the one sitting across from ya.” Gigi stared into Winston’s pale blue eyes, then at the mozzarella. Slowly, she reached out and placed it on her tongue. Then, she closed her eyes as the creamy, silky flavor graced her palate. She swallowed, then grabbed another, shoving the whole disc in her mouth. Satisfied, Winston pushed the plate toward her. Then, he took out his phone and turned on the camera. “Here’s to Gigi’s first dairy experience,” he announced, taking a photo. “And, I reckon, the moment before one of her many trips to the bathroom.” She gasped, tossing her dinner napkin at him. They laughed, garnering the attention of a couple of older, quieter patrons. But Winston and Gigi lived in their own world, sipping refill after refill of wine as she alone cleaned that plate. Before long, the waiter returned with fried mozzarella logs for Winston and loaded macaroni and cheese for Gigi. “So, all jokes aside,” Gigi started. She leaned forward, the candlelight casting a golden glow on her grinning, pale face. “In your old YouTube days...how long would it take you to eat everything on this table?” “Son of a bitch!” Winston laughed, dunking a log into his marinara. “I knew my sister told ya about my eating channel! How much of it did you get around to watching?” “Oh, you don’t want to know!” Gigi giggled, taking her first-ever bite of mac and cheese. And while the two loyal friends shared stories and cheese dishes, their other friends betrayed loyalty that night. Sarah, Tai, Evelyn, and Jacky used Winston’s fake IDs to bar crawl all over downtown Asheville. And Claire sneaked Frank into the Beta Delta Epsilon frat house, where they rolled in the sheets all night long.
2020.01.24 01:30 whirlpool4Events for Fri 1/24 - Sun 1/26
** Fri 1/24 *\* 6p - 10p:Orlando Edge Film Festival 2020; Downtown Arts Collective, 643 Lexington Ave, Orlando, Florida 32801; Come out to Orlando Edge Film Festival at the Downtown Arts Collective! Entry to this event is free - bring your friends and support the local independent film community! :) This year features a selection of art films from local to international filmmakers. The film festival will screen from 6pm-10pm, and doors open at 5:45pm! (see event page for featured films and directors) www.ceffnetwork.org https://filmfreeway.com/OrlandoEdgeFilmFestivalOrlando/tickets 7p - 9p:Movie Under The Stars: Toy Story 4; Avalon Park, 3680 Avalon Park East Blvd, Orlando, Florida 32828; Bring your blanket or lawn chair and enjoy the movie! Don't miss out on the Free Popcorn as well! Movie starts at Dark. This event is sponsored by CHAMP: Children's Health And Medical Partners! 7p - 12a:Barista Smackdown - A Latte Art Throwdown; Qreate Coffee + Studio, 1212 Woodward Street, Unit 1, Orlando, Florida 32803; We are proud to present our 1st Annual Latte Art Throwdown. Open to the PUBLIC. $10 to Throwdown. Winner takes all! Only 32 Entries, must register. 8p - 11p:Kiss Alive the Tribute; Tin Roof Orlando, 8371 International Dr, Ste 100, Orlando, Florida 32819; KIϟϟ ALIVE the TRIBUTE strives to accurately portray the band, its members, choreography and of course, the music. We work hard to re-capture the energy, intensity and experience that a 1970's KIϟϟ concert embodied....when KIϟϟ ruled the rock and roll world. Tickets were $5...but now...FREE GENERAL ADMISSION!!! $5 Cover starts at 9:30pm and includes entry to both sides of Tin Roof each with their own stage, entertainment & dance floors! 8:30p - 1a:#ONEBIGASSGAMENITE; Hope of Salvation Inc., 4300 S. Clarcona Ocoee Rd Suite 101, Orlando, Florida 32819; Orlando New Vibes, is an live entertainment source outside of the norm, as of clubbing&bar hopping. Where we're more into interaction base fun...GAMENITE, Karaoke night, Speed dating, Open Mic/Poetry. Uno,adult Monopoly, Taboo, tug of war, Spades, jenga, floor Tic -Tac toe, Drunk Musical Chairs, Never have i ever, and so much more etc. DjEssence Games Unlimited SHOTSSS FoodVENDORS Live Podcast ***Tickets Admission is $15 and $20 at the door *** DISCOUNTED PRICE IF YOU GET THEM ON EVENTBRITE #ONEBIGASSGAMENITE #JAN24TH #DIAMONDBALLROOM #GOODVIBESSS ** Sat 1/25 *\* 8:30a - 11a:Prince of Peace Food Pantry; Prince of Peace Lutheran Church, 1515 S Semoran Blvd, Orlando, Florida 32807; Sign Up Genius Link: http://tinyurl.com/PoPFoodPantry01-25 The Prince of Peace Food Pantry needs volunteers to help out with food distribution. The pantry is able to provide groceries to over 300 families from Orange County each month. Families are provided food amounts based upon the number of persons in the family. Please wear closed toe shoes and a red shirt, if possible, to distinguish yourself as a volunteer. Volunteers can park anywhere on site. Please walk through the playground and enter the building there. Ask for Sharleen or Barb! 9a - 12p:Crosby Clean-up Day!; Ben Crosby Field, 2300 Helen Ave, Orlando, Florida 32804; Crosby Clean Up Day is this Saturday 1/25! We need everyone available to get the fields ready for Spring. The league is entirely run by volunteers and we need YOU to donate. a few hours of your valuable time to help us get the fields ready for the kids! if you haven't volunteered some hours before, this is a great way to become involved. Also bring your kids! The more the merrier! Here is a list of things we need to get done. 1)Clean Bathrooms and Concession Stand 2)Remove old banners and fix any banners that need to remain up 3)Pressure wash around bleachers and dugouts 4)Organize the shed 5)Spread remaining bags of clay around the bases 6)Clean up batting cages 7)Clean up any trash around the field 8)Change combos on the bathrooms doors( I have all the books to do this) Items needed: -zip ties -pressure washer( I will bring additional cleaning supplies) -any additional ladders, shovels, rakes may come in handy. This should not take very long, the lawn crew will be there on Friday so it should be fairly clean around the bleachers and dugouts. See you there!! Anthony Caruso CHE, CHC. Orlando Babe Ruth Field Manager 9a - 11a:Lake Harney Invasive Plant Removal; Lake Harney Wilderness Area, 2187 Osceola Fish Camp Rd., Geneva, FL 32732; Join Seminole County Natural Lands & the SERV Program to remove invasive plants from Lake Harney Wilderness Area! Seminole County Natural Lands and the SERV Program invite you to help us remove invasive plants from Lake Harney Wilderness Area (2187 Osceola Fish Camp Rd, Geneva, FL 32732) to protect the biodiversity of this important natural habitat! Please note that we'll be working in the woods. Closed toe shoes and long pants are required; old clothes and work gloves are recommended. Bug protection may also be desired. For more information, contact Elizabeth Stephens ([[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]); 407-665-2457). Liability forms can be found on the SERV webpage: http://www.seminolecountyfl.gov/serv 11a - 12p:The Salvation Army Orlando Centennial Celebration Concert; Lake Eola Park, 512 E Washington St, Orlando, FL 32801; The Salvation Army of Orlando is celebrating 100 years of service in Metro Orlando. This concert kicks off the start of our yearlong celebration. The USA Territorial Band & Songsters of The Salvation Army will be in the city beautiful to help us honor the many years of meeting human needs. The group of premier musicians will headline two celebratory concerts, Saturday, January 25th. Stop by the bandshell at Lake Eola Park at 11 AM to hear the sweets sounds of the band & Songsters, LIVE. For those who can’t make it to this event, we’re hosting a 7 PM concert at the First United Methodist Church in Downtown Orlando. Come sing and worship with us inside of one of Orlando's most beautiful churches. These events are FREE to the public, so grab your family and join us as we commemorate our Centennial. 12p - 2a:Onesie Pub Crawl Orlando; Downtown Orlando; We're bar hopping in onesies for up to 14 hours! Join us anytime for your wristband! There's live entertainment throughout, no cover charges, drink specials, photographers, and a costume contest with cash prizes! Venues include: The Patio, Sideshow, Wall Street Cantina, Embassy Irish Bar, Downtown PourHouse, Hooch, Shine, Wai Tiki, The Beacham & Social, Aero, 64 North, The Hen House, Bar B, The Monkey Bar, and more to be announced! The full schedule and drink specials will be here very soon! SCHEDULE: (subject to change, this will be finalized soon!) 12PM: Dapper Duck, more to be announced 1PM: The Office, Downtown Pourhouse 2PM: Embassy Irish Bar & Bar B 4PM: Monkey Bar, Hooch, Shine, Wai Tiki, Sideshow 8PM: Snow!! And group photo 9PM: Elixir 10PM: Beacham, Social, Aero 64, more to be announced 12AM: Wall Street Plaza, to be announced The full schedule will be here soon! You can arrive anytime between noon to midnight to check in with our staff just outside our current venue(s). Wristbands are required to be part of the event. If you arrive after dark you miss out on most of the experience, so please get here as early as possible to maximize your time with us!! Join 500+ of us for the comfiest crawl in Orlando! Please spread the word! BONUS: Reuse your wristband from Onesie Pub Crawl to attend LepreCon St Patrick's Crawl Orlando - Free! without checking in! 575 people registered as of Jan 22nd! Pre-Sale: $10 Day before event: $15 Day of event: $20 (don't wait!) onesieorlando.eventbrite.com 12:30p - 10p:Hullabaloo; Lake Eola Park, 512 E Washington St, Orlando, FL 32801; We are excited to be a sponsor for this years Hullabaloo! Thornton Park District is proud to announce the 1st Annual Orlando Hullabaloo – an epic beach party taking place January 25, 2020 at Lake Eola Park. Part music festival, part beach bash, Hullabaloo will bring musical acts Sugar Ray and Eve 6 as well as a host of local bands for an all-day beach-themed festival in the middle of the Florida winter. The event will also feature an innovative Rail Jam – a motorized, 150-foot long wake board track in pool that will showcase talent and tricks from an all-star team of local professional wake boarders. Runs and stunts will be ongoing throughout the day. In addition, there will be food trucks, libations, and activities for all ages throughout the day, and restaurants, bars and venues throughout the Thornton Park District will keep the party going by featuring live music immediately following the festival. 1:15p:Chinese New Year Celebration; Peter’s Kitchen China Bistro, 3922 E. Colonial Dr., Orlando, Florida 32803; Come join us to celebrate the Chinese New Year on 1/25 (Saturday) at 1:15 PM! We will have the Lion Dancing and Kung Fu Exhibition! We hope to see you and your family there! 6:30p - 9:30p:Happy Hour for A Cause; Castle Church Brewing, 6820 Hoffner Ave, Orlando, FL 32822; Food, Beer, Music by Cold Saturday. $20.00- suggested donation. Raffles and Silent Auction. Event proceeds will benefit the Samaritan Village 7p - 12a:Letterkenny Good Guy Party in VAULT 5421; VAULT 5421, 5421 International Dr, Orlando, Florida 32819; On Saturday, January 25th, here in VAULT 5421, we'll be committing Charitable Acts benefiting Don Cherry's Pet Rescue Foundation, with a Letterkenny Good Guy Party! We'll be playing Letterkenny on our TVs, with music, themed cocktails & Cosplay Cage-Dancing by Bulgarian Bonbon performing as Bonnie McMurray! And have a SPECIAL Canadian beer menu available, while supplies last! Try any 3 and get our featured shot FREE! Make a donation to Don Cherry's Pet Rescue Foundation here at the bar and receive a SPECIAL shot! 10% of all bar proceeds from the night will also be going to the charity! Go here to find out more about Don Cherry's Pet Rescue: www.facebook.com/DonCherryRescue Come early and enjoy our Happy Hours from 5pm-8pm featuring 20% OFF all drinks, including our themed drink SPECIALS and 100+ bottle selection of mostly craft and import beers, ciders, meads, sakes and wines! (Please note our store Gods & Monsters is All-Ages friendly, but our bar VAULT 5421 is 18+ to enter and 21+ with valid ID to purchase alcoholic beverages.) 8p - 12a:New York Ska Jazz Ensemble at Will's Pub; Will's Pub, 1042 N Mills Ave, Orlando, Florida 32803; New York Ska Jazz Ensemble are the premier international touring sensation that created the ska-jazz style in 1994! We're bringing them to Will's Pub for the very first time! support: Control This, The Ambassadors, +21, $15 advanced, $20 at the door 9p - 2a:Shake the Nook; The Nook on Robinson, 2432 E. Robinson St, Orlando, Florida 32803; Do you feel that? There's an enormous amount of bass on the horizon. The windows will be shaking soon and so will you, because Jim Raves is returning to The Nook on Robinson for another night of bass house. Be there to take part in the fun as we embark on a night to remember! No Cover, 21+, 9PM-2AM, Jim Raves is a DJ who got his start playing for the fine people of Asheville, North Carolina. His mixes are known for their bass heavy tracks, deep cuts and personality. You can now catch his shows in the city beautiful, Orlando, FL! 10p - 2:30a:LiT Trancefamily Reunion, ft. Suzy Solar, Robb Blak, & DJ Agni; Bikkuri Lounge, 1915 E Colonial Dr, Orlando, Florida 32803; After a long break from the holiday, let’s get the gang back together for a FREE Trancefamily Reunion Party (donations accepted), featuring Suzy Solar, Robb Blak, & DJ Agni! ✨ No Dress Code (Glow Things Welcomed) ✨ No Discrimination ✨ Great Drink Specials ✨ PLUR Vibes. All LiT events allow reentry, unless we hit capacity ❤️💛💚💙💜 18+ to Party, 21+ to Drink 7p - 12a:Letterkenny Good Guy Party in VAULT 5421; VAULT 5421, 5421 International Dr, Orlando, Florida 32819; On Saturday, January 25th, here in VAULT 5421, we'll be committing Charitable Acts benefiting Don Cherry's Pet Rescue Foundation, with a Letterkenny Good Guy Party! We'll be playing Letterkenny on our TVs, with music, themed cocktails & Cosplay Cage-Dancing by Bulgarian Bonbon performing as Bonnie McMurray! Make a donation to Don Cherry's Pet Rescue Foundation here at the bar and receive 1 SPECIAL shot, cocktail or featured Canadian beer! 10% of all bar proceeds from the night will also be going to the charity! Go here to find out more about Don Cherry's Pet Rescue: www.facebook.com/DonCherryRescue Come early and enjoy our Happy Hours from 5pm-8pm featuring 20% OFF all drinks, including our themed drink SPECIALS and 100+ bottle selection of mostly craft and import beers, ciders, meads, sakes and wines! (Please note our store Gods & Monsters is All-Ages friendly, but our bar VAULT 5421 is 18+ to enter and 21+ with valid ID to purchase alcoholic beverages.) ** Sun 1/26 *\* 11a - 2p:Brunch, Brews & Rescues!; Ace Cafe Orlando, 100 W Livingston St, Orlando, Florida 32801; This Sunday morning, January 26th from 11am to 2pm, join the South Lake Animal League for Brunch, Brews & Rescues at the Ace, Car Show & Pet Adoption event! All Cars Welcome! 50/50 Raffle! DJ playing great music and so much more! Come out and support this awesome charity, adopt a pet, bring your pet! Doggie food menu items available! It's going to be a great time! 11a - 8p:PACDs' Community Day with 90.7 WMFE!; Park Ave CDs, 2916 Corrine Dr, Orlando, Florida 32803; Park Ave CDs is happy to announce that this year we will be kicking off a brand new local community/charity driven promotion titled "PACDs' Community Day"! We are also very excited to have 90.7 WMFE partner with us for our inaugural PACDS' Community Day event on Sunday, January 26th! WMFE is a non-profit, member-supported, community-based public broadcasting company that operates 90.7 WMFE-FM, metro Orlando’s primary provider of NPR programming; and 90.7-2 Classical. Part of the community since 1965, WMFE focuses on providing quality national and local news and programming. For every PACDs' Community Day event, 10% of that day's ENTIRE SALES will be DONATED to the community organization/charity that we have partnered with! With that being said, we encourage anyone who would like to show their support for the local charity to stop by the shop that day and make any small purchase! 1p:Bully Up Rescue Fundraiser; Fish on Fire, 7937 Daetwyler Dr, Orlando, Florida 32812; Hosted by Orlando Hold Em. $20 Suggested Donation tournament to support Bully Up Rescue! There will be add-one and rebuys throughout the tournament as well. Bully Up Rescue is a non profit, locally run, Foster based organization that is dedicated to rescuing abandoned, surrendered bully breeds dogs, as well as restoring the bully breed reputation. 3p - 4:30p:Horns and Pipes; Cathedral Church of St. Luke, 130 N Magnolia Ave, Orlando, FL 32801; The Central Florida Composers Forum (CF2) partners with The Cathedral Church of St. Luke for their 27th annual Horns & Pipes Concert. CF2's very own Jeremy Umlauf will have his Fanfare on a Tetrachord premiered. Come join St. Luke's renowned orchestra of brass, percussion, and pipe organ in a marvelous acoustic. This is a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon! Admission is free. Donations encouraged.
2020.01.14 19:12 jenniferisdone"Give me the number if you can find it"-Operator, Jim Croce
I would like to start by saying this is a labor of love for the tribe and in if someone has already posted it, then maybe it can just be for comparison but... I have recorded every number I could find visibly or audibly for every episode. I did not record "how many times x happened" or count numbers of objects (unless they were really obvious) nor did I mark the timing on each incident so this may be incomplete but I haven't seen this posted before. I know u/jacksoncari posted some meaning behind numbers (amazing!) but I am looking for patterns. Notes if you decide to use this:
All numbers I found are in order from S1E1-S2E8.
Dates and times (including clocks, phones, watches and computer screens)
Addresses and license plates (including some inconsistencies)
Songs in the Soundtrack and Film references with numbers. (Yeah, I went *there*) but it’s incomplete.
Random numbers and stretches with things like "second", "half" etc... (included some really obscure shit and long walks, but just in case...)
Patterns? not yet-I have not analyzed anything...I NEED YOUR HELP!
OA and Karim said together, "Line up the patterns-you solve the puzzle." Is there a pattern in the numbers? Homecoming "Blink twice if you can hear me"-nurse Prairie has been in the hospital for 3 days. Prairie's hospital room is #405, inside the room it says 405A on the wall. Hard to read time behind Nancy as she enters the room? Can anyone see it? "She was 7 years ago she was blind"-Abel "I was present for all of it. 7 years, 3 months, 11 days."-Prairie Coupons on the bulletin board in Nancy's office: Avocados are 5 for $5, something is 2 for $4 and some meat for $2.99 Steve's parents wouldn't let him go out for "like 3 years". Reporter on TV "Of those, more than 200,000 are abducted by family members. Only an estimated 115 are the victims of kidnapping cases like Elizabeth Smart's." Clock in dining room reads 4:45. French's jersey number is 21. The Choral Room at Lincoln is #273 "I try to imagine you at his age, 16, 17"-OA about Homer Prairie's laptop shows Tuesday 10:08 AM, July 17 when looking at the Asheville video which has 3,401 views (NOTE: THIS IS THE ONLY TIME A DATE IS SHOWN ON A COMPUTER) "I need 5 people" -OA to Steve Johnson car license plate 85L 3SGR Number on mailbox that I can't make out but address given later. "you can save 40-50%" off at the store. Many equations on BBA's chalkboard- hope to compare to Michelle's equations "What was your 1st reason? Steve is your 1st reason." -OA to BBA "Cast of 2... over many dimensions"-OA Homer's jersey number is 7. Homer video is dated 11/2/2007 from channel 10 news and has 11, 492 views Homer was in a coma for 1 year. Steve's gym locker is 309 "listen, I need 5 people and I need them tonight."-OA "midnight, 5 people, you gave me your word."-OA "Your son is 17, not 7"-Nancy to Ms. Winchell Video of OA's eye 0:05:32, 55 mins/207 mins BBA is making a math quiz on Pi, The Golden Ratio, Euler's Number and the square root of 3 Prairie's video was filmed February 9, 2016, has 5 views French is studying math for the SAT in the Olive Gardner Prairie gets discouraged at 12:20 am Hey you want to drink a 40?-Steve to dog "Yo, keep the 40"-Steve "I need at least 5, I told you."-OA "We are 5."-Steve "I need to leave something behind...And it only works if there are 5."-OA "I was born in Russia in 1987." The snow was 7 feet high. "I was always first." (to be picked up by the bus) "They all died. Every single one of them"-OA NEW COLOSSUS: Nina's watch says 1:25-1:30? "I could find you in a million violins. With 1 note, maybe 3."-Roman Nina's watch shows 1 pm at the dean's door Clock behind Zoya in her house shows 8:35 Nina's watch shows 4:00, downstairs shows 3:00 (I think) Clock on Psychiatrist desk shows 10:20 "1, 2, 3" Nancy rinsing Prairie's hair "I was medicated for 13 years"-Prairie 21 wax candles on dream cake "I turned 21 today"-Prairie She can have 1 hour to walk at night- Abel French's phone shows 8:03 AM when he's at his locker "It's from 1995"- pic of bridge crash on French's phone. There is a countdown from 5 in the top right corner then transition to next photo. The message is from 1ostboy Clock on Gilcrest desk is 8:05 AM The calendar in Gilcrest desk says 10 Football player numbers on the wall 2, 5, 8, 32, 41,... 6, but there are more On the wall at the subway station is the number 933. I remember my 1st coffee.-Hap "Ketchup at midnight, mustard at 4 mayo at 8." "I'm working with 3 [NDEs] right now."-Hap to Prairie This can make a heartbeat audible at 500 ft. Clock behind Prairie phone call is 4:30 (when Jim Croce is playing) "2 sets of stairs, first one is the easy one."-walking down to the basement CHAMPION: I spent 8 months with that family-Pat 15 weeks on the NYT best seller list- referring to Jaime's abduction book Pat has been vegan for 5 years 5 slices of pizza in the box "8 when he was abducted, 15 when he returned" (Jaime) Homer says he was taken "like a year and 36 days ago "= 401 days? HAP will give Homer 500 bucks for the study Mandy was 2 months pregnant French: "I'm not 12 anymore" to Steve 7:44 AM BBA checks phone BBA's classroom is 173 Hap code is 4 numbers? Zip code on envelope is 12213 There was a 2 lane highway We cant be more than 4 hours away from NYC, maybe 5 4 of us are being held captive We are held 4-5 hours from NYC He had to refuel plane twice Rachel's brother's address 3512 Mapleton Ft. Wayne, IN Prairie's address 189 Mill Pond Claude, MI "It's probably 8,000 feet underground." AWAY: "All 5 of you will need to work together as 1 to avert a great evil."-Khatun "There are only 4 of us." Prairie had no pulse for 7 minutes. "You, blind; have done all 3." Hap to Prairie Jesse's house is 52. Hang with the blind girl for the 4th time?-Ally Rod's office is 303 Theo left BBA $50,000 He was my twin (2) There are 21000 piece puzzles and 550 piece on top of cabinet in Theo's room Jesse says his mom would be 45 and his dad would be ~47 Scott says "I will see the 3 of you on the other side" "Girls pass out in like 5 minutes"-Steve HAPs watch shows 11:35 when he is prepping Homer LOTS of numbers behind him in booth 15157, 14900, 0394 and 0600 are most prominent "3 years passed" while trying to die awake The discs in the booth are numbered Homer runs into room 345 in his NDE. PARADISE: Hap walks past a house in Cuba #460 4, 3, 2, 1, Homer and OA doing push ups. "10 more." Scott's watch shows 2:08? Visible numbers outside Rachel's cell: 1/4 or 9?. 20, IV Numbers on front door keypad: 3 numbers or 4 entered? On HAPs computer: Data disk 10.0.118.130 2014, 2015, 2016 Champs on the windows "Cant imagine what the 5 of you have in common."-Gilcrest to French There are two 15s, two 18s on Elias' game. The game ends on the number 36. "Michigan's economy is ranked 13th in the nation."-At French award dinner French works 2 jobs French's license plate 60X9LH Lots of numbers on HAPs plane controls Clock behind Homer in hotel says 6:30 "How many mines are there like that? What, a hundred?"-Homer to Hap HAP: "Approximately 500,000" They will find us in "Like 24 hours, no in like 12 hours"-Homer Renata asks Homer how old he is: 22? 25? "You said we needed 5, now we're 5." "There are movements. 5 of them and you need 5 at least. 5 movements open a tunnel to another dimension."-Scott after resurrection "I have the 3rd movement"-Scott "I'm going to teach you the movements-all 5 of them."- OA to Crestwood FIVE FORKING PATHS "Michelle is 15 years old" 2 years passed in captivity. "Scott had given us the 3rd movement, Renata the 4th."-OA to C5 "We had to have all 5 movements" "It had been 1 year since Renata got the 4th movement." "Would we ever get the 5th?" Maybe a year, a year and a half- how far away Leon says he is from the truth "In the center, number 20" (when Leon asks HAP to check out the morgue) We both need the 5th movement- HAP 1 of us will get it- OA "Khatun, we need the 5th movement" Homer talking about gardening "The 2nd year...The 3rd year we grow a special nettle plant that keeps the mites away." EMPIRE OF LIGHT: "Was it 1 of those dreams?"-Abel to Prairie There are 6 tables reflected in the ceiling when Elias and Prairie are talking "Then you're 21"-ER to Prairie "The first time...The second time, I thought I solved the puzzle." "It's been over an hour"-Nancy to Abel Abel is reading Metal Floss and the number 500 is on the front cover "You want to take us through the 2nd movement?"-OA to Stever "Homer's movement, the 2nd movement..."-OA Steve's dad "Had to shell out $5,000" to Miles' parents BBA's fridge is 10 years old Asheville vam plates 85I-Y76C Speed limit is 50 "table for 3" at the Olive Garden Prairie orders 5 cheese ziti "How long did you 2 date?"-Nancy to Prairie "...Like 4 months" The number 115 is on the side of the Asheville van "molestation is illegal in all 50 states" "You were 10 feet away" BBA gives the guys $50,000 Prairie's scars-"They are 2 notations of the 5 movements." BBA's plates: D61 2HSC INVISIBLE SELF "I have 5 people locked up in the basement"-Hap to Stan They brought him [Scott] back 11 hours later. "This man's wife is sick and you 2 are going to heal her." Evelyn says 1 day will help 2 captive angels The 5th movement...its always a matter of will.-Evelyn I have the 5th movement- HAP 5% maybe 10% discount-Nancy about the hotel A Scott Brown disappeared in 1995. "I went 7 years without touching someone"- OA (but what about Hap? They touched?) "Everyday for over 7 years" "You know what 2nd hand trauma is?"-Elias Amazon box says 1A5 On BBA's chalkboard: "Can you solve for x?" -3(2x-1)+x = 2x-2(5x+4)The chalkboard shows that Alfonso solved it. There appears to be the number 5 in the driveway aerial shot. Ambulance plates RXG N6A, top right CC5 S2 ANGEL OF DEATH 7 hours 46 minutes earlier. Numbers on Duke's boat I can't read "2 weeks ago, it stops"-Michelle's messages + money Grandma Vu's phone is at 41% Messages from Michelle are at: 6:34 pm and the last one was at 10:10 am GV's phone is now 90% (probably just continuity) It is 2:23 pm on GV phone Michelle's Ether is 29.482 or 31, 096 USD "Most girls under 18 go missing over 72 hours are never found again or are found dead."-KW Vietnamese family apartment is 213 Michelle gave the family $50, twice Alleyway address is 658, next one is 66_? "The House" number 9783 Equations in Michelle's hideout plus these numbers 3, 5, 8 in a box 29, 15, 35, 43, 37, 39, 27, 12, 51, 4, 90 The number 3 is circled next to 5, 7, 70 "What $100? More. $31, 000?"-After basketball game Liam says that has seen a million versions of himself "Be there by 10 am"-Detectives to KW On the club door: Saturday, May 21st, $8, doors at 11 Gaming Tournament: 8:30 on 5.25.2016 $5 fee Pod Blotz May 16, 2016, $7, 10 pm 8:25 when Karim is in the club Michelle stopped going to big blue "A little over 2 weeks ago" There are 5 levels: Level 1 is $50, Level 2, $500, Level 3 $5000 Level 4 is $50,000, Level 5 is $1 million Numbers on Fola's phone 19976, 5791, 0002 5 letter word on the game You only get 3 tries Flights visible through phone BA411, VU411, QP522 I H744, RQ633 3 Wise Man Ambulance in D1= RXG N6A, D2= 4049958, top right 305 How many fingers am I holding up? 4 fingers The year is 2016 Nina's drivers license: 9P78001L Address 4248 Washington Street Unit 9 San Francisco, CA Expires: 10/16/2021 DOB: 10/16/1987 Bottom right 08222010 "Combative patient, 5150"-Nurse Karim says that Michelle has $30K, no $36K not consistent with earlier #? Address while walking: 125 Waverly Place 3symbol?3 while walking $5,000 for the best low-cost panel, overnight 200 people working for him-about Ruskin There are TWO Homer Roberts in Northern California! A man in his 60s in Sacramento. Nina was age 8 when she was adopted. (That would make the baby ~20 years old at this time?) They want to monitor you for another 14 days you can volunteer yourself for a 14 day stay Police plate 3Q449927 Car says #0917, then later same plate says #3252 70 degrees on the thermostat Karim's plates: 4D0Q678 Ruskin Interview on phone: battery at 12%, 4383 views "Those 5 kids in the Bay Area." There are like thousands of kids playing. Ruskin car license plate 5PCI147 I'll give you $400 to let me sub for 1 of your men tonight." $500. Iside CURI-Subject 2-056 on computer screen The center of the blue light in CURI shows 04:19 Nina's room is 342 Dr. Roberts is a 3rd year resident Scott is in room 348 TREASURE ISLAND The time on the Ferry Building is 5 pm or am Homer had 56 minutes of REM sleep Addresses behind 940 Duncan, 5160 Diamond Heights Clock in HAPs office shows 10:15? 2 days after I left you Paralysis kicks in after 11 minutes, the heart stops in 13 to 15. Dr. Percy's watch shows 2:40? Clock shows 8:45? "5 of hearts- you'll fall in love 5 time"-Dreamers to Karim Every night each of us has 4 maybe 5 dreams Marla listens to Hundreds of them every night Address on Karim's yellow shirt show 4157 Normal Avenue Los Angeles, CA P phone # 741-8489 The game is at 7-thats 8 hours We checked the camera the last 4 weeks You're the only 2 we got going in and out "I've been more of a prison guard for the past 2 months." -Dr. Roberts She was MI-5 in 2010 Ruskin headhunted Marla Rhodes 14 days ago, she left CURI She was audited in 2013 Calendula Books is at 7213 Bier Drive Grass Valley, CA 95945 (cross street is Third street) Remember that we were together for 7 years- OA to Homer I've got to get back to Oakland in like 3 hours-Karim Delivery girl license plate 6PCI487 Nina Azarova 0073401 "My family immigrated to Miami when I was **12"-**Renata I went through 20 of these [drones] before I got it right-Marla The crows defend their nests with **numbers-**Marla 10, 20, 30 [crows] will unite Karim had 5 years of field work in the FBI Monopoly money in different amounts "In Germany in the 1920s"-Dreams of Bloody Rivers Over 400 dreams to process every day Over a **few months-**patterns emerged Last year in a weekly set of 2, 000 dreams 3 images emerged There are millions of these things on their own Karim's phone reads 4:43 The house address is 9783 Sutter It's been 60 hours since Liam was in the house He saw 47 selves Buck's house is 44 ​ MAGIC MIRROR Crewtwood 5 in a circle in opening credits Speed limit is 45 as Steve drives Time on Bucks phone is 9:58, battery is 78% Angie's address is 10629 West Payne Court There are people saying you should have been shot the second you stood up Prairie's funeral program shows 1987-2016 BBA is watching Wheel of Fortune and Pat Sajak says "there are 6 of them" and then "**$4, 200"...**Don't let the cat out of the bag Are there any numbers on the map? French's phone shows 1:07 pm Jesse's meditation app "over the course of the last 18 hours of so" I USE THIS ONE! It's very helpful! "We move in 2 days"- Ms. Vu Gary is like 2 hours away The hotel pool is 5',15" Truck parked outside pool shows 5 on the top in reference to the flavors? Goodwill closes at 5 "You 2 are made for eachother" about Steve and Jesse French's phone is at 58% French's hook up is 5"10", 180 lbs It's 8:53 in the car Jesse give the dealer $40 Time at apartment is 11:31 Aunt Lily has 4 stars on Yelp It's almost 500 miles to Aunt Lily's That's a man-100% About Steve McQueen (need to rewatch Bullit) You mean the 7 heavens? There's 2 mirrors upstairs, 1 in the hall and 1 in the back On the TV: "get 10% off" , 4, "1st clue, 2,... Courtesy of u/Night_Managerhttps://www.reddit.com/TheOA/comments/eick53/for_nubes_like_me_who_missed_it_the_first_time/fczi47?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf https://www.reddit.com/TheOA/comments/eick53/for_nubes_like_me_who_missed_it_the_first_time/fczpdwt/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf SYZYGY: (means 3 in alignment) Never spent 7 years underground Karim to Nina-Every 24 hours that passes... within the next 15 minutes Missing girl, 16 She was staying at 828 Sutter, your house." "He turned that into a **5250"-**Nina to Karim Another 12 days here is doable They duck into room 335 "by Nixon in '74" The house was built in 1910. Various measurements on blueprints of the house These plans are from the 60s or 70s. Three Wise Man Numbers at bottom of Karim's phone: 19976, 5791, 0002 Numbers on the clock above HAP don't make sense: I, II, II? HAPs phone shows 10:30, battery is 58% Homer has called 2 times, 3 minutes ago and 6 minutes ago She's a 5250 Check in every half hour on one of the 2,500 nights underground Tells her on the 1st date Then 1 day out of the blue Code to Nina's closet 10-15-87 Nina grabs a tape labeled Paris 18 September 2009 + many other labeled tapes with dates There is a small clock on the shelf that reads either 5:35 or 6:25 On the tape, Nina says March 24, 2013 Homer is on tinder and is looking at Heather, 25 Hannah, 27 Hollie, 23 Noelle, **24 ,**Dharmi, 24, Yassi, 27 battery at 87% Yassi gives 0 fucks Kyoshi's at 8 Yassi lives 2 miles away from Homer Nina's phone say 6:14 PM battery also at 87% Phone number for Syzygy is (213) 999-3650 See you at 9 There are 5 tables in the living room You get 4 other people and you do the movements So you owe $44.50, and I owe $49.64 About $5? We can't be more than .5 mile away from the house. Stairwell floor 2 Nina 5... Cue spots in 5, 4, 2, 1 Old Night has 8 arms, of course He must kill me for 37 seconds Old Night counts down backwards Did you see these 2? THE MEDIUM AND THE ENGINEER-5 Double sided staircase Folders in file: 85, 81 Just give me 1 minute Phone (510)555-0100 for transfer clinic Rachel last visit 5/10/2016 Discharge date: 5/20/2016 I'm the only one here Clock on Hap's desk shows 12:10 Again: the house was built in 1910 Childless couple in their 40's Karim sees a million versions of himself? I'm sorry you're not the chosen one I found 1 hospital in the Bay Area Some dude can put you underground for 7 years MIRROR, MIRROR-6 Amber alert for 15 year old Can you give us a minute, we could really use a minute Buck's watch shows 10:10 Background outside of gas station Propane 504-TANK How come there are only 5 phones?-BBA The bus number is 6200 Theo and I were maybe 16 Those 2 or 3 weeks every summer is the only time we got to breathe Amy's license plate 3DHI932 Elias' business card phone numbers- office: 212-555-0100 cell: 212-555-0132 We need 5 NINA AZAROVA-7 Toxicology report: Karim 990 ppm, 3,000 ppm After the 2nd, the 3rd... There are more than 1,000 young smart people playing that game and you got farther than 99% of them"- Karim to Fola I called your phone 20 times. The video of Michelle show rose-08 and 21:16... How come you didn't find it the 1st time? -Karim to OA 2 hour parking outside the house I'm trying to have a baby, give me a minute. 8 minutes apart, then 7 minutes Mo's doctor will be by in about an hour There are 3 distinct Karim's walking away from Mo. You're the one that Dr Percy loves. The dreamers all dreamed of 4 things OVERVIEW-8 Nina is in camera five and the time reads 23:02:... Inside clinic dates in lobby: 1950, 1969 It's a 5 sided aquarium Nina read Quantum Psychotic in a single night Can't see the numbers on Haps lab board? Are you sure you're ready? HAPS DOOR CODE: 235#62??? No human could run a mile in under 4 minutes Then one day it was done in 3:59 Karim's shirt Giants champs 2010 Ready, 1, 2... lifting Brit Ambulance license plate YX59 EXW ​ ​ SOUNDTRACK SONGS WITH NUMBERS: "Waiting, watching the clock it's 4 o'clock, it's got to stop." -Better Man, Pearl Jam "'Cause I can't read the number that you just gave me"-Operator, Jim Croce "Give me the number if you can find it"-Operator, Jim Croce ​ INFLUENCES WITH NUMBERS: Slaughterhouse FIVE 2001: A Space Odyssey Twin Peaks ​ EDIT: DOH! THE ROSE WINDOW ( which is what started me on numbers in the first place from drawing it out) The center is a blue hexagon (6 sides) surrounded by a 6 petal "flower" from there outward are 12s... 12 arms, 12 "roses". Inside those are 8s in white petals. ​ That's what I have so far! If I see something as I continue to rewatch, I will add it with an edit note. Let's be otters? Please share whatever connections you have or things I missed and I will add it with a reference. Edit: In the music video for Downtown, the numbers 5 and 3 or visible on the walls. I’m still looking for a solid 53 though! @ u/lorzs
2019.12.22 08:11 cristionaxenaMy cousin's guide to Knoxville
My cousin just moved out of Knoxville and posted this. I thought it was interesting.
You must learn to pronounce the city name correctly. It is Nox-Vull.
Forget traffic rules you learned elsewhere, we have our own version. The Trans-Am with the loudest exhaust goes first at a 4-way stop, the truck with the biggest tires goes after that...
All directions start with "go down to Kingston Pike, which is the Alpha and Omega...the beginning and the end.
Henley Street becomes Chapman Hwy., or 441. Broadway turns into Maynardville Hwy., or 33. Cumberland Ave. turns into Kingston Pike, and Magnolia Ave. turns into Asheville Hwy.
The morning rush hour is from 6-10...the evening rush hour is 3-7. Friday rush hour starts Thursday morning.
If you stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
Gallaher View Road can only be pronounced by a native.
Construction on I-40/75 is a permanent thing!
Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, potholes, cats, pieces of other cars, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits, and crows feeding on all the above.
Three interstates converge to run through the Greater Knoxville area, resulting in a bounty of 18-wheeler accidents and spills. Recent spills include cattle, liquor, live artillery shells, Rolling Rock bottle caps, phosphoric acid, Styrofoam peanuts, and yes.....corn syrup!
Natives refer to the Pellissippi Parkway. You will find no road signs marked as such. It is actually Interstate 140, but don't refer to it as that because the locals will have no idea what you are talking about.
The minimum acceptable speed on Pellissippi Parkway is 85. Anything less in consider downright sissy!
If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it's 10 degrees and snowing, the Dogwood Arts Festival is going on.
Knoxville Center Mall is actually in East Knoxville. West Town Mall is just east of Downtown West.
No one who lives in the town of Farragut is actually from Tennessee, or even the South. Admiral Farragut was a Union soldier. Yep, they're all Yankees!
It is better to stay off the roads on Saturdays in the fall, as 3 out of 4 drivers have had way to much Jack Daniels at the ballgame and the fourth is a cop!
Never, and we mean NEVER, plan a wedding for a weekend when UT is playing football. That's what open dates are for! 18.. Yeah, the mountains are pretty, but how bout them outlet malls!
Never point and laugh at anything painted orange, no matter how bizarre or tasteless, unless you want your butt kicked.
It's pronounced "NEELAND" stadium.
The Chamber of Commerce says parking after dark in the Old City should be "pretty safe."
If you see a really interesting old building in Knoxville, there is no doubt a plan to tear it down!
The two tallest buildings in Knoxville, and the 1982 World's Fair park were built by two brothers who promptly filed bankruptcy and when to prison for bank fraud.
Edit: a lot of y'all are butthurt over this, it's just a chain thing lmao chill
2019.08.26 08:20 firearmsconcierge2A weekend in the life 8/25/2019, or Helping the Second Amendment Weekend
Saturday 747AM: My alarm blares and I am awakened. My back is not doing too well. Megan's salon closed several months ago and she has been working two jobs and has had a lot going on and I don't get a chance to catch up with her as much as I used to where she'd tell me what's going on with her life, I'd crack wise and she'd jam her elbow into an extremely tight part of my muscle group trying to make me feel pain. Megan does not know I fly United. She cannot hurt me. My gun club has monthly orientation and I go to help out since it is typically a shitshow and the Louisiana heat in the middle of August is an absolute killer of those with weak constitutions. I have the dubious distinction of doing Firefighter 1 in Louisiana IN JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBEOCTOBER so I am accustomed to my body losing a gallon of water in 20 minutes so this is the usual to me. 9AM: Roll up to the gun club and help set up orientation. The gals helping have brought Chickfila chicken biscuits for breakfast as a treat for the crew helping out. Awesome. I scarf two down as we do a range briefing. All the people I check out handle their firearms properly and don't injure themselves or destroy range property. Sidenote: The Ruger SR22 Longslide is fucking garbage. The trigger pull on the DA is fucking atrocious. I wish the club bought S&W Victory's or the Mark IV with the push button takedown LIKE I RECOMMENDED but they didn't heed my suggestions. 1203: I pack up the guns and head back to give the tour. 1245: We have completed the Bataan Death March, I mean a tour of the gun club in Louisiana in August at noon. Everyone is ready to go home 102: I'm on my way out of the gun club and I run into Ralph. Ralph is the gatekeepemaintenance person that also fights fire and just got out of medic school. We enjoy talking shop, fire shit, gun shit etc and he's a good egg. We trade stories of idiots and guns and fire calls. He tells me a story about a DUI he ran where the guy said he had one beer before he flipped his F150. Ralph asks just how big that beer was. ETOH says "THAT BEER WAS ABOUT AS BIG AS YOUR PUSSY" at which point Ralph doubles over in laughter and high fives the guy. He's going to jail, but he's having such a good time about it I have a feeling he will fit right in with the drunk tank. 2PM: I get back home and clean out my car, clean all my guns in my range back and lube them all up. I've got ladies day at the range to prep for tomorrow and I try to help out whenever I can. Just as I finish wiping down some mags, I get a call. ring ring FC: Go for FC 1: Hey FC, it's Calvin - can I come pick up my Barrett 50 today? FC: Sure thing! Just let me get cleaned up and I'll head in. 1: I'm about 45 minutes away and I gotta get gas so I'll see you in an hour. FC: Sounds good! 212PM: I hop in my F350 and head to work. My AC blower motor has decided to stop working. It's a good thing I'm not in Louisiana a week before Labor day in the middle of summer. That would just be the fucking worst, wouldn't it? Oy. 234PM: Roll into work, get paperwork ready for Calvin and double check all his mags, parts, etc. I've got two Barrett 50 black cases next to my desk today. Today I didn't even have to use my AK. I got to say it was a good day. Barrett 50 does not rhyme well with it, I think Ice Cube nailed it the first time. I have been invited to write some pro-2A op ed's for the local bar association newsletter and I work on that for a bit until Calvin arrives. 3.14159: Pi 3:15PM: Calvin rolls up in his brand new Lexus LX470 and asks if it'll fit. I tell him that it'll fit. We crank off 4473's and I show him on the parts list where we had some problems and replacement items will be in in a few days. He's understanding about the situation and is glad i double checked all the parts for him before he found out he was missing some. Super cool fella, I wish I had more customers like him. The PM 2 looks fantastic on the gun and everything is done right for once. He packs all his stuff up and goes home. 345PM: I'm all done at work, I grab a sandwich at the deli across the street and as I'm stuffing my gullet with pastrami I get an email from a buddy of mine asking if I want to go to the gun show with him. It's about an hour away and Sundays are kinda slow but with the blower motor out on the F350, that's a sacrifice I'm not willing to make. A reluctant pass. I head to the grocery store and get some shopping done. Theo 70% chocolate bars are on special, so I grab a few. Ever since I met Megan, I keep a drawer of high test dark chocolate at the ready in case she's having a bad day. It's been a few weeks since she had her birthday, I wonder how she's doing. 439PM: I get home and unload all the groceries. Steak, Pork Sausage, Eggs, Orange Juice - this will make for a tasty breakfast all week. Nom nom nom. 511PM: I can't find my fucking sunglasses. I have to clean out the F350. No idea where they are. Fuck. I'm gonna need those Oakleys for ladies day in the morning. Shit. I grab a trashcan and clean out the cab and I fill two trashbags of junk before I realize I need a shop vac too. No Oakleys. Fuck. 550PM: Time to hit the self service wash with free vaccum. $8 in quarters later I'm washed down and vacuumed out. Surprisingly no ammo on the floorboards. I head back to the gun club to look for my Oakleys. No dice. I'm wandering around and there's storage and gates open. WTF. I know USPSA is tomorrow and setup is Saturday before for Sunday AM match but what the fuck? I call the club president and ask what's up. He has no idea. I tell him that if we're just leaving doors open to rooms with literally THOUSANDS of dollars worth of steel targets - we're just asking for them to be stolen and made fun of. He agrees this should not happen. I lock up all the club property and lock up the gates. Tsk tsk. 612PM: One of the junk mail flyers on the floorboard was from the Ford dealer. Hmm. Maybe I won the big one. I head over there to the parts department for a price on a new blower motor. They're closed. Fuck. At least I win a $10 gift card to Outback Steakhouse. Win. My glasses must be back at work. Shit. I head back home and take a well deserved shower. 713PM: Time to hit the road and I go to my weekly AA meeting. It's a good meeting although I wish the speaker didn't use that much profanity. Unfortunately, there is no "364 day" chips so I'll have to wait until next week to get mine. After the meeting we all head out to eat at a local BBQ place. I order the prime rib. 1032PM: Gary who is sitting across from me bets me that I cannot eat 14 ounces of medium prime rib as a sandwich between two pieces of texas toast. I say how much you wanna bet? Gary: five bucks FC: I got five bucks right here (I pull out my wallet and extract 5 well worn singles and slap em on the table) Gary begins to backpedal. He pulls out his cash in his pockets and he says he does not have a five he's got two singles. I make out the corner of a C note. FC: Fine, then lets go big or go home. I see you got a bill. Lets go for a bill. (I put a C note right on top of the napkin dispenser for everyone to see that the gauntlet has been thrown down) Gary: No bet, no bet. FC: Gary, you're no fun anymore since you stopped drinking. Gary: The same could be said for you my friend! He's not wrong. 1121: I stop by FC HQ on the way home. My oakleys are on my desk. I'm an idiot. At least I'm an idiot with a clean F350. 1149: Back home, time to take another shower, finish up all the laundry and time to catch some Zzzzz's before the alarm. Sunday 757AM: I am jarred awake after an evening of restless slumber. I tossed and turned all night. My new memory foam pillows aren't even helping. My back is stiffer than Jeffrey Epstein watching the Disney Channel. This is gonna go real well. 812AM: A very hot shower and ibuprofen are not going to fix this. I wince in pain just getting my jeans and my boots on. Thankfully the range bag is already loaded up and I don't have to carry it out. One Egg McMuffin and a swig of Simply Orange and my day has begun. 9AM: Ladies day festivities commence at the range, I do some basic instruction and supervisory tasks and everyone seems to have a good time. By noon the group has decided to call it quits and I'm ready for a shower and lunch. 1230PM: I grab an italian from Jersey Mikes on my way home. After a cool shower, I scarf it down with some ginger ale, beverage of champions. 1PM: As I am in recovery mode on the couch I realize something. My passport is expiring soon and I need to get new pictures. Fuck. I drive over to CVS and have them do some passport photos for me and I get my application filled out back at FC HQ. The phone rings. ring ring FC: Go for FC Stan: Hey FC, it's Stan over from PD in Illinois - we met out at SHOT last year? FC: Yeah man, what's up? Stan: I need a black nitron Sig 227 SAS Gen 2 for the chief, we're a 45ACP department and nobody's got one. Think you can work your magic? It's letterhead so ships direct to department. FC: Let me check the back. Hang on. I crack the safe open and there's a 227 Layaway that hasn't been paid on for 3 years sitting there but I can't remember what model it was There's $300 down and a $800 balance. From 2016. It's an SAS Gen 2. Yeah, fuck this. FC: Stan, got one for you. $900 and its yours. Cut me a city check? Stan: If you can send it out, I'll get with the comptroller on Monday AM and have her mail you a check. FC: Done. Stan: You're the best! FC: That's what she said. Stan: LOL That's what she said, and that's true. I wish she hadn't hanged herself. As it turns out, for some folks - the most important thing you can do is just to listen. Apparently being honest, respecting someone and not raping them puts you in the top 1% nowadays. Fuck, why do I always get involved with these women. Maybe that's why I drink, or maybe it's why I don't drink anymore. I don't know. I don't have the answers but they tell me they'll come if your own house is in order. Mine isn't. But it's a work in progress. 216PM: I dump Stan's gun off at the self service kiosk at the post office and check my calendar. I'm O positive and the blood bank loves my blood. I drive over to donate and I grab 3 apple juices and two packages of cheezits. They're delicious. 237PM: The phlebotomist is named Lisa. She's cute. We have the same birthday. Every time she sticks me, they're required to ask you name and date of birth. So when she sticks me, I state my name and I say same as yours. She then stabs me with a giant needle into my arm that gushes blood. It's a strange relationship, but we make it work. We catch up and she tells me that her boyfriend is planning on taking her to a tour of craft breweries in Asheville NC. I tell her he needs to up his game and fly her to LA and go for a drive down Mulholland, a walk around the scenic overlook and dinner at In and Out Burger. She thinks I'm insane. I tell her that if I had a beautiful woman like her in my life, I'd do something like that for her. She says I'm sweet. I say it must be the blood loss. 315PM: I am now a pint low and on my way back home. I'm sweating like GOP leadership at a White House Press Conference featuring unscripted remarks from Donald Trump. 330PM: Another shower and I'm feeling a lot fresher and I do some more writing for my article. My co-conspiratocollaborator says I have a good foundation but we need some legal references to back our positions up. I call him up and he agrees to comb through McDonald and Heller for anything good. We eventually settle on a few select words from Antonin Scalia that underscores our values. Every two child did. I will. 450PM: I finish a draft outline and send it over to my accomplices in legal writing. He says he'll look at it and gives me a Lexis Nexis login to do some more research. Score! I run down a few searches and I don't find anything useful but I make some notes on keywords to search and hopefully I'll dig some more material out later. I work on a few jokes and transitions but the substance of the article still needs work. We have a framework and a foundation but not much else. I'll deal with this later. 512PM: Email from a girl I went to middle school with. Ironically, I didn't know we went to middle school together until about 8 years ago when we met through some mutual friends. Her dream ever since she was a little girl was to be a lawyer. She got a job at the courthouse in the restaurant making sandwiches, washing dishes and serving lawyers. Eventually she made her way to the clerks office, put herself through law school AS A SINGLE MOM and passed the bar last year. We chat about legal issues from time to time and she went from being a state prosecutor to working in private practice doing wills/real estate and she hated it. Her place is in a courtroom, not a fancy office doing doc review and being on the phone all day. She's moving to the public defender's office and asked me if I'd be of assistance helping her to get up to speed on firearm issues. I tell her anything for her. She says I'm sweet. Where have I heard that before? 530PM: August 25, 1975. One of the greatest albums ever to be pressed into vinyl was released, and that album of course is Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3t9SfrfDZM I fire it up as I fire up my chimney starter, it's summertime and it's steak grilling time. I got some nice thick USDA prime top sirloins. S&P the choice for me. Four and a half minutes a side. Turn for the nice grill marks. Down the hatch. The beauty of the grill and the genius that is Springsteen's Born to Run is 4 minutes and 30 seconds. The dulcet tones of Max Weinberg on drums, Clarence Clemons on sax and Phil Spector's wall of sound - this album isn't just music. It's magnificence. It's the only thing worth a shit to every come out of New Jersey. Okay, that and my friend Liz that I took to Mortons (she was born in Passaic but I don't hold that against her) but that's it. I air guitar as I let the kingsford charcoal do it's thing. The instrumental break to Thunder Road tells me that we're almost ready to pull those suckers off for a perfect medium rare. These are a little thicker than normal so I leave them on for closer to 5 minutes. I pull and rest my beef on the counter as I prepare some creamed spinach, some fresh broccoli and some bacon and brussels sprouts. My 10 ounces of USDA prime beef have to be complimented with some well prepared vegetables. The creamed spinach is going straight to my thighs, but I don't care. The broccoli is buttered and dashed with garlic salt. Bacon and brussels sprouts are a perfectly balance between eating healthy and smothering your food in bacon grease. I love it so. 615PM: I cut into my steak for a beautiful bleeding just a bit in the center medium rare. I scarf it down faster than Roseanne Barr and a bottle of Ambien. Life is good. Or is it? 645PM: I'm back in recovery mode on my couch. My back is killing me but the pint of Cherry Garcia is taking the edge off. I've got writers block for the article. I understand the concept and the big picture but I can't make the connection between micro to macro and vice versa. Maybe some music will help me figure it out. I set the ipad to shuffle and I let my mind wander for ideas. Billy Joel starts rocking out to Uptown Girl and I'm reminded of Megan. My back is out, she's got a gun to protect her from shithead ex and......hmm. Maybe this is the angle? Does my story need a non-academic these are real world people with real world problems rejoinder? No, I can't. I couldn't. She's my friend, not a research subject. I......know she gets off work at 9 when her spa closes and there's a kilo of varying brands of dark semi sweet chocolate in my desk right next to my Stainless Sig 220. Maybe I should ask permission. After all, I did get her a nice present for her birthday. Lets see how she's doing. 701PM: I throw on a clean seersucker shirt and head up to Megan's spa. I have to stop for diesel so there goes the $100 I had leftover from dinner last night. 745PM: Her car is visible from the road, I park next to it one space away. I grab my notepad and laptop and try to think up how I want to pitch this to her. "Megan, how would you like to be the subject of......" - no. This does not have to be that difficult. She's a nice girl that's been treated badly and she doesn't deserve this. Also, for those new to /guns me and megan we have a little bit of a sordid history where I try to ask her out where I am very bad with ladies Laptop in front seat, passport photos and passport are on lap with my legal pad scribbled with chicken scratch everywhere. The spa closes at 9. She leaves sometime after that. I've got about an hour to figure this out. 859PM: I'm fucking clueless. I cannot figure this out for the life of me. This is a terrible idea this idea. I shouldn't have done this. I should leave. No, we're already here. 915PM: Megan walks out and is telling her coworker about the customer from hell at her other job very emphatically. I'm sitting there holding a notepad with a pencil behind my ear with the window rolled down looking at her casually. The radio is on playing "I only wanna be with you" by Hootie and the Blowfish. She gets to her car, finishes her story and looks up at me quizzically, stops and smiles. Megan: Really? I get out, and I forget that my passport, passport photos and notepad were all sitting in my lap.I'm distracted by her beauty. All my crap is on the ground now. FC: Really what? Megan: Really? FC: I guess I'm that predictable. Megan: I guess so. I pick up my notepad, passport photos and passport. FC: How are you? Did you enjoy your birthday and your present? Megan: Yes! I needed that week off. How are you? I see you got a haircut. FC: I got em all cut. I don't like it though. My first choice of stylist wasn't available. Megan: Sorry. FC: It's not your fault the salon closed. Megan: What are you doing here? FC: I uh. I...... I look down at my feet and my passport slides off the legal pad. I look back up and feign the confidence of Hill and Mac on a facebook live video. FC: I figured I'd see how you were doing and ask you out on a date. Megan: Really? FC: Really. Megan picks up my passport and opens it up and looks at my picture. She cracks a smile looking at my ugly pre obama administration picture. Megan: You know, that's funny. I was thinking about calling you before work. FC: For what purpose? Megan: I was going to ask you on a date. FC: Really? Megan: Really. FC: Is that a yes? Megan: That's a yes. FC: When and where? Megan: (names time and place) FC: Done. Megan: Your timing is really incredible, you know that? FC: I'm glad plan A worked. Because plan B was asking you out on a date, having an awkward pause, getting rejected and then uh I'm not sure what the next steps would be but I'm certain groveling would be involved followed by "come on, it's my birthday" (Megan opens my passport up and looks at it more closely) Megan: Really? FC: Really. Megan: I don't get asked out by guys very often. What do we do now? FC: You don't get asked out by guys that don't treat you like crap very often. Hug? Megan: Okay. Hug. (we hug) Megan: Happy birthday Me: It wasn't. But it is now. See you (time/place). I get back in my truck and the last line of the Hootie and the Blowfish song is playing....... ♫ "I only wanna be with you" ♫ Can't make this up. One psycho ex, two kilos of dark chocolate 3 ounces at a time, a surplus oxygen mask from a Delta MD88 taped to a Theo chocolate bar with a handwritten post it that said "In case someone takes your breath away in a good way", two trips to Atlanta, a three year no contact order, one bouquet of flowers on valentines day, one bleeding scrotum, two slices of Chick-Fil-A chocolate pie, one dinner out as friends, one GPS tracker, and three years later - and I've got a date. I guess Tom Petty was right. And in case anyone is wondering. I will be carrying, and I will sleep soundly on my left side if I have to punch her psycho ex in the forehead with a 124 grain bonded Speer Gold Dot. Oh yeah and one more thing. Guess who's 10 years sober today
2019.08.24 18:55 BurbujitasWhat do I do for this kind of ticket? 76 in a 55; North Carolina
I got pulled over today on 240E in Asheville, NC. Right before exit 7. It’s my first moving violation (I’ve had a parking ticket or two; I am pretty sure they all happened on my college campus). I have two expunged petty larceny charges from 2017 in Manhattan. I’m 23F. Never had a moving violation before. I have PA tags & license, although I’ve been renting in N.C. for the past 2ish years. The address on my license is my parents’ and I grew up there. He had turned on lights before I passed him, I was already slowing down. I think I was coming out of a 50 mph zone. I’ve known the troopers sit in this spot, but I was as close to peeing myself as I can ever remember. I pulled over right away, he told me he had me speeding and asked why. I told him I was about to pee myself. At first he thought my tag was expired—apparently, PA no longer issues inspection stickers on tags, but I had a valid sticker on my windshield. My registration and license were all good and he never said anything else about it. The whole thing took between 5-10 minutes. He was professional. He came back, gave me the ticket with a court date, and pointed me towards a gas station. I told him I was a mile from my house and went on my way. Didn’t ask any questions about searching my car or what not. I’m 2 years sober, so I didn’t need to worry too much about those things. I got GS 20-141 (J1). Class 3 misdemeanor. It’s not a ticket I can just pay off. My court date is October 8th. I can potentially get it dismissed online, but the citation isn’t even logged in their system yet so I haven’t been able to check that out. I’m panicky and looking for, at the very least, an explanation of what will happen. Best/worst scenarios, if anyone has experience with these charges for someone in my shoes.
The Welch family had passed down ownership of ‘Welch’s Tailor and Men’s Apparel’ at 1679 Haywood Street in downtown Asheville, North Carolina since 1918. As the shop approached its one-hundredth birthday, the keys to the building were passed from Gregory Welch to his son, Scott Welch, on his thirty-second birthday. With this change came a rebranding of the store, with the word “men’s” being dropped to promote what Scott called “inclusion of everyone, for everyone.” So this became the motto of the shop, and under its window-top sign sat an inscribed gold plate confirming this exclamation. Scott loved the store, if not for the work, then for the simplistic routine it represented. He had spent hundreds of hours in the store as a boy, and continued to do so as he worked his way through grade school and The University of North Carolina. Since taking over the business eight months prior, he repeated the same ritual daily. He would wake up at 6:00am, run three miles at 6:30, eat two eggs and a small bowl of cereal with his first cup of coffee at 7:00, and get into the shower by 7:30. From there on began the real work, his grooming routine was meticulous and obsessive, involving fifteen minutes of washing and rinsing every string of skin and hair on his body, followed by at least seven minutes of hair brushing and gelling, ensuring perfection in his deeply brown pompadoured hair. Following that, he would shave his chin and face as tightly as possible without leaving a cut, rub deodorant under his arms, and brush his teeth. After his initial cleaning he would shuffle into his room and pull on a clean white t-shirt, boxer briefs, and a pair of flamboyant dress socks that fit the season. He would then examine the suit he had ironed the night before, iron it again, and put it on as carefully as possible. Finally, he would slide on a pair of loafers and his Masonic ring, and stoll out the door. On this particular day, Scott completed this routine as usual, pulling into the employee parking lot on Haywood Street and unlocking the store fifteen minutes before opening time at 9:30am. He sat in the front desk of the store as usual, reading a book (‘In Cold Blood’ by Truman Capote, today) and reading through emails on his computer. As was normal, a few customers, mostly local lawyers and business owners, came in and out of the shop asking for a new order or an up to date fitting. Around 1:00pm Richard Meyer, a seventy year old county judge, struggled into the shop on his lunch break and greeted Scott with a warm and exhausted “Hello!” “Hello sir!” Scott responded with the spirit of a salesman “How’s it been today, Scotty?” Judge Meyer responded, starting to catch his breath “Well, you know how it is in the summer, we’ve been a little slow” Scott said, pushing himself up using his desk. “Well” Meyer said briskly, cutting himself off at that word, seemingly losing his train of thought as he peered around the room slowly as old men do. “You know son, I can tell you’re ambitious about this place,” he continued, in a breach of character that surprised Scott. “Ambitious, sir?” Scott responded, wide eyed “Yes son, ambition” “What makes you say that?” Scott said, pushing further up on his desk Meyers bent down, grabbed his knee and let out a prolonged sigh, before groaning “I’ve lived in Asheville my whole life, my Daddy took me here to get my first suit when I was little, when I started working at Johnson & Salem I got myself fitted here, and I cannot imagine myself going anywhere else,” Scott looked up at him in increasing curiosity “And do you know why that is, Scotty?” “Why, sir?” Scott asked, the anticipation further building within him “Because it’s steady here” “What do you mean?” “I mean I don’t care too much for changes. I like simplicity, and with all the changes going on in this goddamn town I could use some more of it, a lot of us could” Meyers said with a hint of old southern aggression. “So you’re saying not to change much?” Scott said, shocked by the seeming outburst “I’m saying not to change at all son. Keep the place simple, and it’ll never fail, because it never has before” “Of course sir, because it never has before,'' Scott said in agreement. Meyers shook his head up and down in affirmation “Good.” Meyer shuffled out of the shop with a similar exasperation to that which he came in with, and Scott couldn't help but mumble under his breath, “Miserable old man.” Behind this congested statement was the worsening of an intense inner anxiety that had troubled him since being handed the business. His anxiety was one derived from an idea much more intimidating than failure, the reality of plausible failure. ‘Welch’s Tailor’ was a one-hundred year old business in a city comprised of largely first-generation residents with an entirely different cultural scope than that of the slow southern money that dripped from Asheville in the prior century. The new generation of monied residents came from a foreign source, one that had a disdain for any old order or perceived bigotry. Being a tailor had meant to Scott’s predecessors holding deeply ingrained relationships with the permanent names of Asheville’s elite across the professional fields. Tailoring had meant attending Masonry meetings, congregating at the First Baptist Church, and exchanging favors with any repeat customer that held merit in the community. These community members, such as Judge Meyer, still comprised the majority of the customer base at ‘Welch’s Tailor’; but Scott knew well that relying on them would be impossible in the near future. Their children and grandchildren had all moved far away from Asheville, and the shop, and new money had moved in. The repetition and comfort of 1679 Haywood Street was a niche habitat that Scott had grown accustomed to, and would fail without. With this an ever present anxiety had stayed with him up until that moment, as he searched for what it meant to be a tailor in the new Asheville. As the temperature reached its peak on that yellow July day, so did Scott Welch’s anxiety. He sat with his legs crossed up on the front desk, distractedly reading one paragraph of ‘In Cold Blood’ repeatedly, and sweating through his thick white shirt. For the two hours since Judge Meyer’s visit not one customer had walked through the front doors. Summer was the slow season for tailors anyways, as heat and the absence of any special occasion drives customers away; but this day seemed to be particularly devoid of business. Just as Scott determined that Meyer’s visit had been a harbinger for the end, a customer strolled through the doors. He was a thin, slim man of about forty, who appeared to have been successful in warding off his impending middle age years. He wore a slim-fit light grey suit, with a neatly knotted pink bow tie, and matching brown glasses and loafers. A glowing brown belt lined his thin waist, and he continually adjusted it as he walked into the store. He peered through the shop with intelligent eyes, and more purpose than Meyers had. His eyes finally settled on Scott Welch sitting at the counter looking back at him. The man walked over to the counter, pulled back on his well-combed black hair, and said “hello there, sir” with an extended hand and the arrogance of a successful social climber. “Hello, sir” Scott responded after a moment of hesitation. Scott’s encounters with new people always were filled with these hesitations. “This is a wonderful store you’re running sir! Very classy, very good vibes” With these words, Scott’s anxieties from before melted from his mind, and in response to this said “Well, that's what we're all about here in Asheville, good vibes” elongating the “i” in vibes. “Of course sir, that's the reputation” the man said, resting his arm on the desk, leading Scott to notice a black sapphire ring on his left pinkie finger. They sat in silence for a moment, both pretended to appreciate the moment in contentment, looking around separately and smirking while nodding their heads “What did you say your name was again sir?” The man said, breaking the silence “I’m Scott Welch, and your name?” “You can just call me McKay” the man said, looking up with a bright, inclusive smile. “Well, it's nice to meet you Mckay” “It’s wonderful to meet you too, sir.”
The pair walked around the store with McKays initiation, in search of a pair of Navy pants to replace a pair he had ruined the day before, spilling coffee on himself flying into Asheville. McKay explained to Scott Welch that he was involved in the business of shipping and distributing construction materials, and was based out of Columbus, Ohio. As Scott searched for the perfect pair of slim-fit Navy pants, he was preoccupied with the persona of his customer. McKay was clearly a man with high levels of social awareness, he used each word and facial expression as an opportunity to convince his partner in conversation that he was being entirely genuine in communicating himself. Whereas often a pat on the back and an attempted charismatic smile come across as unnerving, McKay used his gifts so masterfully that he was able to relax even the most critical and awkward persona, in Scott Welch. In discussing business, hometowns, and menswear, Scott felt as though his presence in that moment was the only thing in the world that mattered to McKay. Scott’s prior uneasiness was quickly replaced by a sense that he was taken care of, which was his main desire since being given the responsibility of the family business. So, in twenty minutes of pants shopping, Scott became enamoured by the magical figure in a pink tie. When Mckay finally decided on a deep navy, and slightly less slim, pair of pants, the two exchanged business cards and began to discuss mutual connections that they had. “I cannot believe you don’t know Roger Prescott” McKay would tell Scott laughingly, among a multitude of other names that were seemingly important and definitely unknown to Scott. This blindness to the modern names of business reinvigorating Scott’s feelings of incompetence as a tailor.
“You know, you could always come to an Egg Society meeting” McKay told Scott, sensing his worries. Scott asked “What is the Egg Society?” Recognizing his naivety, silently thankful that McKay was there to take care of him. “Well, Scotty, the Egg Society is a group of men throughout the country that have the unified purpose of empowering community leaders” “That sounds very important, much too important for me” Scott said laughingly “No no Scott, we would love to have a man like you join, guys like you are the pillars of our community” “I very much appreciate the offer, I do, bu-” “No but”! McKay interrupted affably, “you’re coming tonight buddy” Both of them laughed, and Scott agreed. McKay wrote down “42 Old Revis Road, West Asheville, 10:00pm” on the back of his card and handed it to Scott. He pointed down at it and commanded “be there.” “I’ll be there” Scott responded, with another hesitant pause. “Maybe it’ll help business” he thought to himself.
The remainder of the day went by as any summer weekday at ‘Welch’s’ did, a few familiar customers strolled in and out of the store to greet Scott and buy something minor. In contradiction to the earlier half of the day, Scott even fit a few new customers, which he hadn’t done in days. He assumed this must have been a sign that McKay and the Egg Society would bring him good fortune. As the day wound to a close at 6:00pm, Scott’s nervous excitement rose. He shuffled through the shop blaring Neil Young as he swept and dusted its whole radius. He locked the door with a pleased skip, with “Alabama” still blaring in his head. He drove home faster than usual, fifteen miles over the speed limit, rather than ten. When he reached his house, he ran inside with the intention of maximizing the success of that night.
McKay hadn’t told him what to wear, so he decided that wearing a shirt, tie, and slacks should suffice for a meeting with such important figures, and decided to bring a jacket just in case he was under dressed. He repeated his morning grooming routine, and compulsively ironed out any wrinkles in his clothes. “Scott Welch, you are the man” he said to himself, staring at the mirror. He passed the remaining minutes until 9:36 (which is when he determined he should leave his house) by pacing and distracting himself with cleaning, as he always did when he was nervous. He felt almost child-like in his excitement, which embarrassed him. He worried that this new acquaintance was out to ditch him in a dirt field, or prank him in some way. This made him feel even more like a child. So when 9:36 hit, Scott Welch was dreading the drive.
Scott arrived at 42 Old Revis Road at exactly 10:00, as would be expected of Scott Welch; and no one was there. It was a small, closed off dirt parking lot, surrounded by thick bushes and collapsed wooden fencing. “Oh God” he whispered nervously, with his mind wondering to all of the possibilities for why MacKay wasn’t there. Had he lied to him, playing a practical joke that would result in public shame? Maybe he died on the drive over, or even worse, right after he left the shop! Scott sat with anxiety sending shock waves through his body, and his heart rate further increasing. It finally broke its pace when a shiny black Escalade pulled calmly into the parking lot at 10:12, and only did so to skip in his chest. Out of the Escalade hopped McKay in a large dark purple robe, large ovular glasses (with no spectacles), and what appeared to be slacks, a white collared shirt, and a black tie underneath the robe.
“Hurry!” He aggressively whispered to Scott as he knocked on the drivers side window of his car, “No one can see me in these!” “Alright, alright” Scott responded in a hurried anxiety. He hesitated to speak again, coming out of his head for the first time in hours. The two shuffled into the Escalade, dipping their heads for secrecy on McKay’s request. “We made it” Scott said in a confused relief “Well, we don’t know if we made it, at least we hope no one saw us” “I don’t think anyone did” Scott responded, trailing off at the end of his sentence to show his confusion The two sat in silence, and Scott looked out the window and slouched down into the seat. This often happened to him after moments of severe worry. “Where are we going McKay?” Scott questioned in annoyance “What do you mean where are we going?” He gave little time for Scott to respond, “We’re going to the congregation of course!” McKays eyes opening wide with these words. “The congregation of the Egg Society I’m assuming?” “Of course that’s what I mean!” McKay’s voice continuing to get more and more excited “Where exactly is this meeting?” “Oh, you’ll see soon enough, we generally don’t just outright tell embryos like you where we meet. Security purposes” “Embryos?” “Yes newcomers, do I have to explain everything to you?” McKay commanded, losing his patience. Scott Welch has always had a problem with asking too many questions.
Eventually, the Escalade pulled onto a long and bumpy gravel road, and drove up what seemed to be an entire mountain. Scott’s mind wandered to the thought that he had hastily gotten into a car with a lunatic, the egg society? He couldn’t believe he had fallen for that. He determined he must be in the car with a schizophrenic sociopath, which would explain the paranoia and charismatic charm.
After an eternity of bumps, nearly falling off of the side of the mountain, and quiet anxiety; the pair arrived at a large, imposing house at the top of the mountain, surrounded by dozens of cars and covered in egg paraphernalia. Scott looked around hurriedly and noticed that there was at least one carton of eggs on each car, two large gold painted ovals at either side of the door, and a sign that looked like an advertisement in a ballpark outfield reading, very simply, “Egg.” “Here you go Scotty, you’ll need these” McKay said, reaching into the back of his car and pulling out a large pink robe and a copy of the ovular glasses that he wore. “I put them on?” Scott asked again, continuing his nervous habit “Of course you do!” McKay said excitedly The two men hopped out of the car, and while Scott dressed himself, McKay walked around to the back of the car and pulled out two cartons of eggs. “I got a dozen for you, we put these on our car as a sort of offering” “Okay” Scott responded nervously, unable to think up a response to such a ridiculous statement. “Now listen, we’re going to go up to the front doors and a man in a tuxedo is going to open the doors, just let me do the talking” “Don’t worry, wasn’t planning on saying anything” They walked to the front door, and McKay knocked twelve times , and just as he said, a man came to the door sporting a thin, well-kept mustache, and a butlers tuxedo. “Good evening gentleman” the man at the door said calmly “Hello sir, I have brought a friend with me this evening, a potential embryo” The man stared deeply at Scott, with empty, calculating eyes. He leaned towards him with only his upper body, and sported a pretentious facial expression. Scott had absolutely no idea what he was thinking. After an uncomfortably long moment of that, the man said, “Very well sir, you both may enter”, and relaxed back into an upright position. McKay led the way into the house, and Scott followed, sweating intensely and pulling on the shoulders of his robe. He was beginning to feel self conscious about his attire. He followed McKay through what appeared to be a silent and empty house, beside a massive stairwell, under dozens of extravagant light fixtures, and across a creaky, thin-paneled hardwood floor. The house reminded Scott of one he had seen in a Scooby-Doo cartoon as a child, a mansion “haunted” by greedy relatives seeking a wealthy inheritance. So this is what he imagined as McKay led him down into the houses large empty basement, where he began to hear voices of people quietly socializing, a group of wealthy social climbers looking to gain more from each other. As they reached the bottom of the stairs, McKay stepped beside him, guided him by his back, and announced to the room “Hello everyone! This is my dear friend, Scott Welch!” McKay said this immediately as they turned the corner, giving Scott no time to scout out the environment before his presence was announced, making his introduction to the society a room full of strangers staring at him; which did not bode well for his already present sense of anxiety. His heart fluttered, and he felt an intense dropping sensation, as he overstimulated himself scanning hurriedly around the room. He saw white and yellow painted faces staring back at him blankly, all dressed in magnificent robes of flamboyant colors, all covering men in white collared shirts, ties, and black slacks. The room was decorated with professionally photographed shelled eggs. It contained no windows, and was comprised of dark grey concrete walls, and a brown carpeted floor. There was a piano in the corner of the room occupied by a man wearing a large egg mascot head, complete with webbing in front of the eyes for him to see out of. The members of the society congregated across the room, but were specifically concentrated around tables on each wall of the room that were covered by pastel Easter table covers, and large silver bowls containing deviled eggs, egg salad, scrambled eggs, and what Scott deduced must have been eggnog. In the center of the room was what appeared to be a shrine, where more photographs of eggs and dozens of small candles surrounded a mature hen locked inside of a black cage that appeared to be meant for a much larger animal. After a few moments of staring, the crowd chanted to Scott in unison, Welcome, welcome brother egg Young one born of feathered kind To the white one we shall beg To welcome your incipient mind
“Come on in Scott,” McKay whispered, leaning into his ear. Scott raised his eyebrows in nervous agreement, and followed McKay’s leading hand that was placed on his lower back. He took him around the room, introducing him to each person in the room. They greeted him pleasantly, but it was a disturbing pleasantry. Their smiles were artificially wide, and their eyes were opened to an extent that wrinkled their entire face. Scott tried to match them, but his face could not extend itself as far as those staring at him. He began to notice patterns in the flamboyant dress of the members of the society, those dressed in purple or red robes were those with the most power and social clout in the club, and were surrounded by the largest numbers of people. Scott estimated that there were around forty members in the basement, of which about four wore purple and red robes, with the rest in pink or baby blue. Every member of the club was a young, in-shape man, all but one of which was white. The lone non-white member was an African-American man who called himself ‘Sunrise’. Scott got in a long conversation with Sunrise, as McKay had politely excused himself to have a discussion with the other men in purple and red robes.
“You look like a very nice man” Sunrise said with an eerily large smile, barely spreading his teeth as he spoke “Thank you sir, you look nice too” Scott said, looking around the room nervously “I can tell you aren’t very comfortable here” sunrise said, not breaking eye contact and sending a chill down Scott’s spine “You can?” “Of course” he paused “everyone is at first, but you get very, very used to it” “I hope I do, you seem like a great group of guys” “Oh yes, but the focus isn’t on us” Sunrise said with a closed mouth giggle “Now let's go get your face painted, silly!” The pair walked over to one of the tables across the wall and were stopped by McKay with a push. “And what do you think you’re doing, Sunrise” he commanded, not breaking his artificial smirk. “H-he needs his face painted” Sunrise stumbled, for the first time losing his smile “Oh well, Scott here will be painting his face using a different instrument tonight”
Scott and Sunrise went back into the corner they had talked in earlier, and stood silently while other members greeted Scott. “It’s such a pleasure to have you here tonight, you’re truly doing The Society a service” he told Scott, rubbing gently down on his red robe. “Why don’t you have some eggnog, brother.”
“Of course I'll have some” Scott said hesitantly, it couldn’t be too bad he thought, everyone else is drinking it, and he had to do something to blend in with these people and get out of the basement safely at the end of the night. From the first sip, Scott was in heaven. His body buzzed in a pleasurable warmth, and he enjoyed spinning and wobbling around the room. Suddenly, he felt his own smile widened as his bliss intensified. He observed in flashes himself stumbling around the room, giggling with the rest of the club, and being handed more and more to drink. As the night went on for however long it did (Scott was not quite sure) there was a growing tension in the room, despite his inner joy. An overwhelming sense that the evening was for him caused a great deal of nervousness. Eventually, the two members in purple, one of which was McKay, began to ring singing bells in front of the cage; and everyone in The Society moved in front of them. After a moment of this, the men in red appeared from around the back of the cage, with the unmasked one, a long, slim man of about forty sporting a neatly trimmed black beard, carrying a tray with multiple black straps and a knife. The man with the egg on his head, who could be easily decipher as the leader, began to speak in a commanding, fatherly voice. “Hello my friends!” he commanded, throwing his arms into the air to an intoxicated applause from the crowd. “May the white one be with us!” there was more applause, and with it, the crowd repeated back to him in unison “May the white one be with us!” “Very good, friends” the man with the egg on his head said, bringing his hands together. “Now. Let us discuss business! We have a new man in the crowd, his name is Scott, everyone greet him!” “Hello Scott” they said obediently, causing Scott to laugh intensely and fall to his knees. Everyone stared at him, so he decided he better stand up. “It is a pleasure to have us all gathered here today in appreciation of the white one!” this drew a cheer from the crow, a welcomed distraction from his mishap for Scott. “As you all know, we have brother Golden here today, all the way from Columbus, Ohio”! The man said, motioning at McKay and drawing another rowdy cheer “And let us not distract ourselves from our purpose tonight, brothers.” the crows looked over at Scott. “Tonight! Will be the night we welcome a new brother! Give our brother a new name! He will reinvent himself, through blood, for the white one!” this statement resulted in the loudest reaction yet from The Society, giving Scott pink cheeks even in his intoxicated stuper. “The time has come! Brother Scott, may the initiation begin!” The man with the egghead motioned at his partner carrying the, who proceeded to carry the tray to the cage, sitting it on the ground and pulling out the struggling hen that sat in it. He strapped its legs to the tray, expertly avoiding its wild claws and emotionlessly tying down the squawking bird against its will. “Now, brother Scott! The time has come! Remove the white one!” Scott was confused, and while he normally would have been shocked with empathy for the bird, he was intoxicated by the drink he had been repeatedly given and by the increasing roars of the crowd. “Brother Scott!” the man repeated, as the tray carrying the still struggling chicken was placed on back in the opened cage. “You are to take this knife, and remove the white one!” Scott was visibly shaking, and still a bit confused. Although the intentions of the club members were becoming more clear, he was expected to cut the chicken open, and remove any eggs it carried in its body. “I shink em not hearin’ you right” Scott slurred drunkenly, hoping he was misunderstanding. “Cut into the hen brother Scott!” The cheers of the crows grew louder, and Scott’s drunken haze more intense. The room was spinning now, uncomfortably so. He decided the only way to get out of this state would be to do what the man in the egghead said. He knew best. Scott approached the cage now, slowly stumbling, regaining consciousness with each step. The roars of the crowd encouraged him, these were his new brothers, the new generation of influencers. He grabbed the knife. Hadn’t the founders been fascinated by the occult? Weren't the Romans a beautiful and dark people? He stared down at the hen, squealing less intensely now, but still jerking its head around in fear. It didn't even notice him. He was no longer alone, the cheers of the crowd still grew in intensity, as did his confidence. He looked down at the bird again, finding confidence in his empathy for it. He could kill. So he drove the knife into its stomach, unsure of chicken anatomy, and cut all the way down to the bottom of its torso. It let out a painful scream, unable to let go of its grip on life as it lose control entirely. The crowd cheered, and Scott spread its intestines, exposing multiple fully developed eggs. He pulled one out, the biggest one, and the cheers of the crowd grew louder, making more noise now than the movements and fading squawks of the hen. He turned to the crowd now, and there was a moment of silence as he presented the object of their worship. The man with the egghead walked to him now, put his hand on Scott’s back, and cried out “He has found the white one, now let him paint his face in blood!” The crowd let out an enormous cheer, and Scott proudly lost any sense of empathy that he had left. He turned back to the chicken, and rubbed the blood from its opened stomach across his face. “He is born!” the man yelled. For just a moment, Scott Welch was proud. He had initiated himself into a society of men who could get him places, and had done so with joy. These were his brothers in blood, his brothers in the yoke that spilled on his face when he ate the egg under the man with the egghead’s command. Slowly, he lost this passion. As he slipped out of intoxication from the crowd and the drink, the crowd greeting him proudly suddenly became horrifying to him. “What have I done” he thought internally, looking back at the mangled body of the hen laying still in front of its cage. He no longer felt pride in its death, or even felt beauty. There was no beauty in that soulless mess of blood and struggle. He drank no more, and wanted nothing but to leave. His pain grew more and more severe, to the point that it was intoxicating him again, until he left the basement with McKay. “Wait brother!” the man with the egghead yelled at them as they left. “We must give you a name.” Scott inwardly dreaded the possibilities. He thought he would be named ‘hunter’ or ‘yoke mouth’ or something of the like, to always remind him of the shameful event. “We shall call you brother Birth!” “Brother Birth” The crowd repeated, all coming sadly out of their haze. Scott smiled, and left the room somberly.
The ride back down the mountain was quiet, with a bit of small talk between Scott and McKay that eventually died down. Scott could still taste the blood and egg on his breath, as well as the alcohol. “Brother Life” he thought, as the Escalade pulled slowly back into the dirt parking lot where the two had met hours earlier. “See you soon, Brother Life” McKay remarked with a wink. Scott said nothing. There was a thick musk of shame present. Scott went home, repeatedly looking at the clock that now read 4:13am, focusing on the anxiety of waking up in the morning rather than the pain of the events that just occurred. “Brother Life,” he could not get the words out of his head. He went home and tossed in bed, eventually leading to a shallow hungover sleep. He was in a repeating state of waking, but never fully got up until 11:00am. He was very late. So Scott Welch concluded that he had better sell the shop. It was better for someone responsible to be in charge of the family name, he decided.
These are a collection of my experiences revolving around and on the Blue Ridge Parkway. From the summer of 2002 until early 2004 I lived in a small town (Swannanoa) outside of Asheville, NC. There wasn't much to do in the area on Friday/Saturday nights other than hanging out with friends at the movies, bapool hall or in our case the scenic overlooks on the Blue Ridge Parkway (BRP). My group of friends go-to meeting spot was one of two overlooks off of the BRP. We would jump on the BRP off of Tunnel Rd (US-70) and drive about 3 miles N to the Haw Creek Overlook, park our cars and depending on the weather sit outside and just talk the night away. It may sound boring but those nights were some of the best of my life, filled with laughter and pure joy. Its where we went to decompress from our early 20's "stress-filled" days. We would usually meet up there anytime between 9-11pm and not depart until well past 2am, often ending our nights at the nearby Waffle House. Depending on the time of year the overlook would get busy with other groups of friends doing the same as us, romantic dates and nature enthusiast either camping out in their cars or returning/embarking on hikes. On certain occasions Haw Creek overlook would be to crowded for our liking so we would proceed to the next overlook (Tanbark Ridge) that was almost always nearly empty. It was in these areas that my friends and I experienced truly paranormal & possibly demonic experiences. On most nights they would come and go without any out of the norm events to speak about. That slowly changed. Certain nights there could be as many as 6 of us hanging out on the overlook, and other nights only 2. On one particular night, and the first BRP experience that I can recall, we were standing and talking near the back of my car while we smoked a cigarette, facing the road (BRP). We were the only car at the 2nd overlook (Tanbark). When we weren't talking with each other it would get quieter than quiet up there. The whole night we kept hearing what sounded like conversations or voices coming from the side of the mountain across from where we were gathered. It wasn't uncommon for night hikers or campers in the area but these voices were not coming from an area that was known for trails or camping. As we were standing near the back of my car we all heard the voices louder than before this time, at first it was from our left, then immediately from our right and then finally straight in front of us. The voices although rather loud were inaudible, we couldn't make out what they were saying, almost like gibberish or a made up language. We were all expecting to see someone by how close in proximity the voices were, but there was no one around us, no car had even passed the overlook for awhile. We wrote it off as having to be hikers conversing somewhere on the mountain and their voices somehow carrying or projecting through the woods. For weeks after we told the story to our other friends and coworkers, whom would also share their similar accounts with us. That was the start of many more strange and sinister occurrences. Simultaneously with the strange events that I experienced on the BRP my family and I were also experiencing paranormal activity at the house we were renting in Swannanoa (I wrote a post about this before on paranormal). I wont get much into that as I already posted about it, but I wondered at the time if the occurrences were related in anyway, which as time went on and more events happened I didn't think they were connected at all. The night that I believe triggered a string of events which was a Saturday night after work. Before heading to the 1st overlook I stopped and picked up my friend and we proceeded to get on the BRP, about halfway up from the entrance to the BRP and the 1st overlook we noticed a pick up truck 3/4 of the way into the woods off of the road with only its interior (dome) light on and a man returning to the truck with a shovel in his hand. My friend and I instantly got creeped out by this peculiar sight and half jokingly both said that the guy was probably hiding a body. Later that night when we were leaving the BRP as I drove by that exact spot where we had earlier seen the truck and man I nearly drove off the road as my dome light in my car turned on and nearly blinded me (it is dark on the BRP - no lights at all) and almost gave me a heart attack at the same time. The light went on for maybe a second or two and then shut off. I'm generally a level headed/rational person, but at that moment I was shook. My friend was equally in shock as we both calmed ourselves down. When we got to his house we sat in his driveway and tried to make sense of it. That light only turns on if you open a door, we did not open a door. That light had never once turned on for any other reason before that. After I dropped off my friend I had to drive under the BRP bridge on my way home, as I passed under the BRP bridge my light again turned on, but this time it flickered a few times and then stayed off. IMO this was now past the point of coincidence. That was not the last time that my light went off in my truck, for a span of a few months, not every time but almost so the light would come on or flicker near that spot on the BRP where we saw the man and his truck. One of my friends who was driving behind me one night saw the light go off from her car and it scared her so bad that she did not return to the BRP at night anymore. On one night three of us gathered at the 1st overlook, it had rain a lot the day before and that morning. On the opposite side of the overlook there was a sheer rock wall that ascended about hundred feet. There was enough moonlight that night to see the water trickling down the rock wall, it was my friend that was riding with me when we saw the man that noticed that the water coming down the rock wall appeared to resemble a persons head tilted sideways. I agreed and so did our other friend, but as more water ran down it looked like it formed a rope around the persons neck, and as time went on and more water rolled down the person resembled a girl. It was almost too clear, like someone purposely created this effect. We started concocting ideas that perhaps that man did do something bad in those woods and maybe the light flickering and the water on the rocks was a calling of sorts. I had disabled the light in my truck from going off, it still went off a handful of times after that, which should have been impossible. But the cherry on top of it all was on the night that I was the last one of my friends to leave the overlook, as I drove down to leave the BRP, again near the "spot" my front drivers tire blew out. I pulled over on the shoulder of the road and tried to call one of my friends but didn't have cell reception. If it wasn't that I had to be at work that morning I would have probably slept in my car until there was light, but that was not an option. I proceeded to get out and change my tire in pitch black night, I felt so vulnerable, and although nothing happened I felt as if I wasn't alone. I felt that at any moment something, don't know what, would occur to scare the living shit out of me. But nothing did...until I got back in my car and started pulling back on to the road, at that moment my light again flickered and I swear I instantly felt my right side of my body/arm get 30 degrees colder. The next day my friend and I called in anonymously to the Asheville PD and reported what we had seen in the woods (the truck & man) but did not mention any of the paranormal events that occurred. We felt as if we had to say something but for the longest time weren't sure what or how to. We hadn't heard of any disappearances or murders in that area but then again in my early 20's I wasn't an avid reader of the paper or watched much of the local news. These events all happened around Spring-late Fall. We stuck to the bars and pool halls for months after those events, until the early the following year. We finally decided to venture back to the BRP more frequently. My friend and I (same friend) were starting a new band and the BRP was a great place to collaborate and write songs at. One night, and my last night ever spent on the BRP, we took up an acoustic guitar to help finish writing a song. That night both overlooks were crowded so we drove to this little cut write off the road just passed the first overlook. We settled there and propped open the tailgate of my GMC Jimmy. We were up there for a couple hours, probably around 1-2am at this point, when we started hearing straight up laughing coming from the woods/tree line close to the car. We stopped what we were doing and just froze and listened, the laughing stopped and we heard what sounded like a horse snarl followed by a whisper, a laugh again and finally a "psssttt", we immediately closed my tailgate jumped in the car and drove down to the 1st overlook. At this point there were no other cars at the overlook. I pulled into the overlook with my car still facing the road (not pulled into a parking spot). We had no idea what those sounds that we had just heard came from, it just didn't make any sense. At the overlook my friend got out of the car to take a piss, we both then lit a cigarette and decided to head back to the car as it started lightly raining. Just before we got back to car, we heard what sounded like a gallop or horse hooves getting louder from the area that we had just left, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and had an overwhelming feeling to just get the f*ck out of there and so did my friend, without saying anything to each other we ran and jumped into my car to leave. As I turned over the key and started the car I happened to look back and thats when I saw an image that to this day I will never forget, I saw what looked like a tall goat like man, I distinctly saw horns as it started running full speed towards the car, I didn't look back again and drove like a bat out of hell from that area. My friend didn't look back but he heard the galloping getting louder and shut his eyes. Neither one of us returned back to that area at night ever again. I moved away from NC in 2004, my friend still lives in the area, however, to this day he does not go up on the BRP at night, only visits during the day. When we get together we cant help but talk about all of the shit that we saw and experienced during that time. We always talk about one day returning to that area at night again, even though we were scared to death, the curiosity of the unknown draws me and we have both questioned why those things occurred to us.
2018.01.16 21:50 ncbwilsonBristol, TN - Charter Spectrum - Speeds vary all over since yesterday.
So I am signed up for Ultra Internet 100/10 @ $89.99 a month. I have seen issues since yesterday where I was getting slow download speeds. Here is a sample of tests done and you can see the speeds going all over. I have a technician coming out tomorrow but considering I use this to work from home I thought I would get more opinions from here as well. I have a dedicated coax going from outside to my office to connected directly to a Netgear CM600 router(Firmware version 1.01.14) that connects to an Asus RT-AC3100. My main machine is connected via ethernet to the Asus router. Is this external to my house? Any help here? IP_ADDRESS,TEST_DATE,TIME_ZONE,DOWNLOAD_MEGABITS,UPLOAD_MEGABITS,LATENCY_MS,SERVER_NAME,DISTANCE_MILES
2017.12.05 23:41 PolaDroidSX70[META] The /r/polaroid 2017 "Best of the Year" Awards!
Welcome to the third annual "Best of the Year" awards! The reddit inc admins have kindly agreed to give away reddit gold credits to all subreddits with more than 1000 subscribers. What's reddit gold? Reddit gold is a premium subscription service that gives you extra features and perks on reddit. Look here for further details: https://www.reddit.com/gold/about We have 10 reddit gold credits to give away. Each credit is worth a month of reddit gold. We're going to continue with last year's change and only have the one category - "Best Photo". Categories and prizes
Best Photo - 1st (4 credits), 2nd (3 credits), 3rd (2 credits), and 4th (1 credit) place
How to nominate Comment on this post linking to the post you wish to nominate. This thread will be in 'contest mode' so you can't see who's winning until we make the announcement. Make sure to link to the post you are nominating and not just the photo. Please check to make sure the post hasn't already been nominated, any duplicates will be removed as they mess up voting. Rules
You can only nominate a post made in 2017.
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Nominations can only happen in this post.
Only one nomination per user.
Each nominated post can only win one category. If a post wins in multiple categories, the mod team will decide the most appropriate category for the post to win.
The nominations will close on the 31st December and the winners will be announced shortly after. Credits will be allocated after the winners are announced and reddit inc has given us the credits to distribute.
Comments on this thread that aren't nominations, or are not replies to the category comments, will be removed.
The winners will be decided by the number of votes in this nomination post, not on the original post, but the prizes go to the original poster. Should there be any dispute or tie, the moderation team's decision is final.
The following list of top posts in this sub may help you if you are looking for a specific high scoring post, but you do not need to limit yourself to only a post listed in this table. Any post made in this subreddit during the year that fits into the categories is eligible.
165 points: Operator_Calico_Jack's comment in If we're doing models, here's a 1/10th scale of IJN Yamato at the Kure Naval Museum near Hiroshima [637x949]
147 points: FroznBones's comment in A sailor fires a shot-line from the amphibious assault ship USS Wasp (LHD 1) to the fast combat support ship USNS Supply (T-AOE 6)[3256 x 2605]
133 points: kalpol's comment in W. Churchill aboard HMS Prince of Wales on his way to meet with US President Franklin D. Roosevelt at the Atlantic Conference in Placentia Bay, Newfoundland. Aug 1941. The PoW had 4 months left before succumbing to Japanese torpedo-bombers near Singapore (800x785)
131 points: SuperAmberN7's comment in If we're doing models, here's a 1/10th scale of IJN Yamato at the Kure Naval Museum near Hiroshima [637x949]
131 points: Tincansailorman's comment in A sailor fires a shot-line from the amphibious assault ship USS Wasp (LHD 1) to the fast combat support ship USNS Supply (T-AOE 6)[3256 x 2605]
104 points: FarmClicklots's comment in The amphibious assault ship USS Essex (LHD 2), and the Japanese Maritime Defense Force (JMSDF) ships Shimakaze (DDG 172), Myoukou (DDG 175), Hamagiri (DD 155) and Natusio (SS 584) pier-side Okinawa, 2003. [3200×400]
101 points: WeRtheBork's comment in Two Visby-class corvettes in Stockholm, 2016 [1524x1268]
94 points: Any-sao's comment in French carrier Charles de Gaulle inauguration [1050x700]
94 points: HelmutVillam's comment in How about LEGO? The Japanese surrender aboard the USS Missouri (BB63) First Division Museum, Cantigny Park 2015 [3264 x 2448]
2017.02.23 08:37 IonesqueThe final road trip my AE86… Part 1
Warning: Long post/rambling/boring stories ahead! So here it is, the end. Just over a decade daily driving an AE86 in some way shape or form. I will soon be in my mid-30s, and even to this day I still lightly tinker with the one I have now owned for close to 8 years. I have more memories attached to this car, than I could ever begin to recall at this point. As for the car itself, it’s likely among the more stock of these cars still left. I drive it to and from work almost daily, a trip of less than a mile usually these days. It has some quirks, but nearly everything works; heat, air conditioning, factory stereo, power steering, etc. all the non-essentials that most people toss out in the name of performance, this car still has it despite being a total junkyard dog. With some tweaks such as: -4A-FE bottom-end swap (7-rib, higher compression via use of wrong pistons) -272 cam regrind by Delta Camshaft in Tacoma, WA. -Schneider racing double valve springs -Stock carb converted for full mechanical operation -03 Dodge Caravan electric cooling fan swap -Tanabe swaybars front and rear -Sedona Red Pearl paint job (Old Subaru color) -New Falken Azenis RT-615k tires all around -Mk. II Supra wheels, and stereo Nothing terribly game changing or even noteworthy. I’ve made it my own, but let us start at the beginning shall we… Who would want an accident damaged 1986 Toyota Corolla with over 260k miles on it? Well apparently I did, it called to me I had just driven a heavily rusted one across the country as part of a move to my new home in the southeast for the military. It performed much to my surprise brilliantly, but I was ready for something without rust, over the next few weeks as I tore the new one apart combining it together, and it told me its story. There were a number of still intact stickers that let me know a bit about the owner. On the car is a Gamecocks Club (South Carolina College Football team) sticker dated 1986, this painted the picture of a college student or possible graduate purchasing his first new car. A shiny new Toyota, in the south no less! Imports were not a thing anyone bought down here in the 1970’s and 80’s as a result any import is very scarce. I found a notepad buried in the back with a maintenance logs that painted a picture of someone whom took great pride in what he owned, despite it being a mostly unremarkable if not outdated car at the time. The logs were intensely detailed, down to lightbulbs, and many other very minor fixes all clearly written. Another sticker dated 1995 showed a parking permit to a beach a fair way from here, likely taking the man and maybe a potential wife to have a fun beach day. You could see where life started to become busier for this person, not too long after the minor stuff started to slide and general maintenance was the only thing noted. Receipts detailed an accident he was involved in, the repairs show the car needed replacement of the front-left fender and door. Which was obvious as they were the only panels on the car with clear coating, instead of a single-stage of gloss red. As time went on the handwriting got worse, and the repairs turned to quick fixes. At just over 250k miles in the early 2000s the last items were mechanic in a bottle fixes for a coolant leak, and power steering leak. The handwriting now almost illegible, with him likely about to turn 60 then sold the car. (Sidenote: I wish I could find him I believe his name was Ralph Willard, I’ll need to double check the owner’s manual later to verify. But sadly after I fixed up the car I could not locate him. He moved from the address I had in the manual long enough ago that no one recalled him. Sadly the car was eventually sold to someone whom clearly had little passion for this car, I could only call them “Drift kiddie”. The “Drift kiddie” did not care about the love put into this car, nor the memories that it made for someone. No he/she pretty much destroyed the car, used the inside as one big ashtray it smelled awful the center console and floor was covered in garbage and ash. They did burnouts, attempted drifting putting the right-rear corner into a pole. They kept going until the car said no more, the timing belt jumped a few teeth, and alternator was toast. The car ran like crap, barely running and unable to move on it’s own power. The entire car was covered in oil leaking from every gasket so much so that the entire car was coated on the outside. It sat, for awhile long enough for mold to coat every surface not covered in oil. Time moved on, the paint faded more and eventually “drift kiddie” sold the car unable to fix it. They tried hiding the antics by rotating the tires, but the car could not conceal the attempted lies. I hauled home on the back of a trailer for, the princely sum of a few hundred dollars with it’s likely destination being a junkyard had I not bought it. First I pulled the smoke riddled interior out in its entirety, replaced every seal, gasket, and belt on the motor. Fixed up all the damage “Drift kiddie” caused. I had big plans for this car, but as many can relate life and time moved on. Heavy car modification of cars became unimportant, even to this day still having nearly all the parts in my garage for a full GT-S conversion, it became a non-priority. The parts now will forever rot in my garage. The car transitioned from being a project to a daily driver, I had many other quantifiably better cars. But I always chose the 86, soon I would use this car to visit the woman who would become my wife. Twice a year, I’d take a road trip from the boring flat roads of SC, through the beautiful mountains of West Virginia, all the way up to NY. Despite the 4A-C’s penchant for being a so called boat anchor, the car came to life every time in the rolling hills. And every time it got me there, not always without fault but I could always make proper repairs once there. Once there, my girlfriend and I would usually take it on trips all around Western NY mementos from each trip scatted in the car. Little things like a pair of bottle caps in the ashtray from some drinks we had at a hole in the wall diner, they rattle away reminding me of her. A plaque from a time, speed, distance rally we attended over the summer glued in the glove box. Notes written near every area where repairs took place hidden from plain sight likely never to be seen. A shelf of broken parts at home, a reminder of failures past. Minor tweaks and memories scatted through the car, and parts scattered among the garage making it something I felt is part of the essence of who I am. After several years of making these runs along the mountains in the east. She moved down, and the car took on a lesser role. Not too long after we had our first son while it could “baby” it was less than ideal most of the 99% of the time. The pregnancy took a toll on her, making it difficult for her to ride in the car anymore. It is now a personal conveyance, at most it sees the occasional cars and coffee too worn to really partake, but uncommon enough to draw some interest. The neglect from the past few years has been creeping in, clear coat peeling everywhere from a cheap paintjob I inflicted upon it. The old interior from my last car literally rotting away piece by piece, water leaking when it rains into the hatch area. Mechanically she’s sound, but the cracks in the armor are starting the show. And I never again expected to take it where it performs best which brings us to a chance occurrence… Work has provided me with an opportunity once more to let the old 86 roam on the roads I built it up for. A trip from South Carolina to Texas, I could not let this opportunity go to waste. Everyone thinks I’m insane, and even my wife is questioning my logic on taking my old Corolla with just over 312k on it halfway across the country when I have newer and better options. And that was before I even mentioned the idea of taking a detour, should weather permit to come face to face with some of the best roads in the United States. I could fly, but I am just too excited to pass this up. The plan will add many hours to my trip, going direct from SC to the beginning of Blue Ridge Parkway, taking it all the way to Asheville. Depending on the time of day/weather, I’ll then start towards Deals Gap; aka. The Tail of the Dragon then to my final destination in Texas. It’s like the idea of meeting up with a long lost friend, a chance to glimpse into the past, and at the same time see if the candle is still burning in the present. For myself it’s also a journey of self-discovery, possibly one of closure, and with the possibility for a sad ending depending if the magic is still there at the end. But before that, should anyone run into a worn but somewhat decent looking red AE86 in the next month on the highway feel free to flag me down to chat. I love talking cars, and finding others that remember the old AE86. It is quite a rare experience especially on the east coast. I’ll definitely post up some pictures as the trip progresses this weekend.
2017.01.30 23:20 gleiche1Need help with a speeding ticket. I'm out of state
I took a trip to Asheville this pass weekend, and I got pulled over for going 82 in a 60 mph zone (I don't believe I was going that fast). I have a mandatory court date in the beginning of March that will be very difficult to make. The police officer mentioned that I can get a representative to show up for me. What are some options that I have? This is my second speeding ticket in my driving career.
2016.11.28 18:23 kipperAVLFriend in search of a fairly Priced Traffic Attorney
My friend got a traffic ticket last night while driving into Asheville. She wasn't monitoring her speed while coming down the mountain into town and got a ticket. The problem here is she's moving in the next few days and won't be able to make her court date in January. She's a lovely lady, and doesn't have much money to spare, so she's in need of a traffic attorney who can represent her, and hopefully the collective cost of paying the attorney's fees and the (finger's crossed, reduced) citation, would cost less than paying the citation in full. Any leads, recommendations, or advice I can pass on to her will be appreciated.
2016.10.28 01:55 SkeletonBimboTraveling out of state and got pulled over for speeding and reckless endangerment. What is my next step?
Last week I moved out with my girlfriend, we wanted to do some traveling so passed through Asheville, North Carolina. About two hours ago I got pulled over for speeding heading to Asheville. The State Trooper said I was going 79 mph in a 55 mph zone and since it was above 15 mph over the speed limit, he also charged me for reckless endangerment. Now I have a court date on 12/12/2016 and will definitely not be in the area. Is there anything I can do regarding where my court date will be held or anyway I can fight it? What does will the process be for the next months? Tomorrow morning I'll be making my way around the city talking with lawyers, but I want to know as much information as possible. Thank you.
2016.04.26 20:45 tbuck89Got a speeding ticket and can't afford a lawyer. Please help!!!
I live in Asheville, NC and I got a 70mph in a 55mph speeding ticket about two months ago. I'm in between jobs and can't afford to pay a lawyer. My court date is this coming Monday, 5/2. Any advice to deal with this without losing my license would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!!
2016.02.18 02:31 uncertaincoda[NC] Today I got my first speeding ticket. What are my options, and what should I expect?
Where: Asheville (Buncombe Co.) What happened: got off on an exit thinking the speed limit was 60mph, I'm behind someone who is driving somewhat erratic, swerving slightly... so I want to move away from them for my own peace of mind/safety. I get into the left lane, speed up to pass them and two other cars since there wasn't enough room in between. Next thing I know, blue lights. The officer said I was going 70 in a 55. This is my first ticket. I don't want to just pay the fines as that's going to be a complete admission of guilt with all of the consequences that come with it. I really would like to have the ticket reduced if not completely dismissed, which I know the latter is unlikely. Mostly, I want to avoid insurance going up. As I understand it, on my court date, I'll meet with the District Attorney and tell them what my plea is. They'll decide and then I'll show back up for another court date. Not sure if that's correct, but let me know. Someone has suggested I try hiring a traffic ticket attorney, but I'm a poor college student so I'm not sure if I can swing that... I'd just like a breakdown of my options, what to expect, and whether or not I can get out of this with minimal damage.
2016.02.18 02:28 uncertaincodaToday I got my first speeding ticket. What are my options, and what should I expect?
Where: Asheville (Buncombe Co.) What happened: got off on an exit thinking the speed limit was 60mph, I'm behind someone who is driving somewhat erratic, swerving slightly... so I want to move away from them for my own peace of mind/safety. I get into the left lane, speed up to pass them and two other cars since there wasn't enough room in between. Next thing I know, blue lights. The officer said I was going 70 in a 55. This is my first ticket. I don't want to just pay the fines as that's going to be a complete admission of guilt with all of the consequences that come with it. I really would like to have the ticket reduced if not completely dismissed, which I know the latter is unlikely. Mostly, I want to avoid insurance going up. As I understand it, on my court date, I'll meet with the District Attorney and tell them what my plea is. They'll decide and then I'll show back up for another court date. Not sure if that's correct, but let me know. Someone has suggested I try hiring a traffic ticket attorney, but I'm a poor college student so I'm not sure if I can swing that... I'd just like a breakdown of my options, what to expect, and whether or not I can get out of this with minimal damage.
2016.02.13 01:00 SkytchNorth Carolina January Newsletter - Written by Chi Wong
This was a rather entertaining Newsletter for me to read in the NC Melee Group, does /ssbm like it as well? Let me and Chi aka clowsui know if it's a good format for writing newsletters of our scene, since this might be a pretty cool way to show off the NC scene a bit. Disclaimer: Ronzell is the Falco/Puff player that has many different tags throughout this newsletter, so if it seems like a pretty random or bizarre tag, it's probably him. Anyway, here's the official post:
Hello everyone! This is Chi Wong here, junior Smash reporter and highly aspirational Melee competitor. I used to write newsletters for the Cincinnati scene under the pseudonym Moomoo Mumosa, but I decided that was pretty lame and confusing for any and all future adoring fans (of which I expect to have many, obviously). So here I am, as myself, bringing to you a succulent yet succinct summary of monthly happenings in NC Melee. Doing this monthly makes a lot of sense because it gives players a chance to interact with one another in competition, thereby providing substance and story. My hope is that I can highlight storylines in our scene and also inspire others -- content-wise or gameplay-wise -- to do better. So without further ado, here’s the January newsletter!
P.S.: It’s intentionally corny. I like to write that way when it comes to scene-based stuff, I feel it adds a little charm. If you think it obstructs your enjoyment, feel free to say so in the comments below.
January Newsletter Safari Zone NC’s most dominant static team $mike (#2) and Ronzell (#3) took first place over three different events, an explicit reminder of their strength coming into 2016. So if things are same-old, same-old, why is this a news item? Well, what if I told you that $mike was using Pikachu and FalcoMaster was using Jigglypuff? This cute-but-deadly pair is what the Payday Pioneer and Shabby Sheik are confidently calling their most comfortable team. It’s not hard to see why either, what with their existing synergy as players and the Pokémons’ survivability, speed, strong set ups and superb KO moves. The only foreseeable weakness is a lack of experience, but if they are already winning tournaments in spite of that, it’s hard not to wonder...will there be a stop Team Triad’s iron grip over North Carolina, or shall we all be sent blasting off, time and time again? King Nanney and the Princes Mofonzo and Money Speaking of Team Triad and continuing trends, the two players are neck-and-neck so far this season. First, at GCTS 1, $mike took both Winner’s and Grand Finals; next, at GCTS 2, P’tah, the El Daoud took Winner’s Semis; and most recently, ShrimpLipz laid claim to Winner’s Finals and clutched out Grand Finals in a thrilling set at MKMT1. Training partners they may be, but one has to wonder what it would take for one to assert a streak over the other. Young Scaturchio’s Falcon, already blazing and furious; should we see him go even faster, strike even harder? And Scarslayer’s iron bird, quirky yet ingenious: for him, is there yet another muse, some aspect of creativity he has not considered? Or maybe the record is so even because they are no longer looking at each other and instead seek a greater prize: Alex Nanney’s defeat. Indeed, how long has it been since a North Carolinian aside from Kevin Nanney has taken grand finals over Twitch (#1)? Alex has dropped sets at both tournaments he has been to this season, yes, but he has also overcome the odds to get first place at those events. It is as if the Catfish are gripped by a blood curse, an eternal prophecy: “None but a Nanney shall overtake a Nanney”. Superstitions aside, it will be interesting to see if Cam and Mike manage to seal the deal against MioM 62.5 in the coming months, and what they implement to do so. Chinks in the Armor Tension among the royals gives way to peace largely undisturbed in realms immediately lower. Kaeon, Stingers and Sharkz have all held true to their rank, with expected wins and losses to those higher and lower on the PR list. For example, Kaeon (#4), Stingers (#5) and Sharkz (#6) have all lost to Cam, and have all thwarted Sprankles’ attempts to break into the upper echelon. But I did say “largely undisturbed”...so where lie the warnings of revolt? Well, certainly not with Kaeon. His only “unexpected” loss was to Sharkz, to whom he has dropped a set before, and with whom he has only played one set this season. Nay, our quarry lies further: if you look to Stingers, the consistent thorn in his otherwise predictable record has been one Mr. Ian MacNeill, AKA SlipnSlide. Combining defensive movement with severe punishment as Sheik, Slip has been able to take both sets vs. Stingers so far. The caveat is that these two sets happened in back to back weekends at the beginning of the month; was it simply that Stingers needed more time to figure things out? For further intrigue, you could also look to Sharkz: Gato, a skilled but unranked Marth, managed to take a set win against him at MCMV. While the score was evened the following week at MKMT 1, that these two are training partners means that we should be looking not only for whether or not Gato can do it again, but also who will manage to come out on top by the end of this ranking period. Burninated Countryside Tension gives way to peace, and peace gives way to furious violence: Ranks 7 and below are very much in contest so far. Sprankles (#8) has been the most consistent of them all, having no unexpected losses and having the 1-0 edge on Weilin (#7). This, combined with the fact that Weilin has dropped a set to an unranked player (Ambition), may leave Sprankles as the de-facto 7th rank, though Weilin is overall positive vs. Ambition still (2-1 across three different tournaments). Along with his aforementioned wins, SlipnSlide (#10) also has one set win over BossaNova (though the overall set count is 1-2 from the same tournament). Despite his good wins, Slip also has losses to those below him, to Tah. (#11) and Stargazer (#13). While a win vs. Slip should be considered a strong start for these two, it should be noted that they have no wins against others ahead of them on the rankings. Rounding off the ranked Raleighites is Sky (#12), who is still looking for a win against those above him, but has dropped sets to those unranked such as Haise and Saef (HM) (though he is 1-1 with Saef). Oh, speaking of honorable mentions, no one is safe there, either. Saef? Showing signs of life with a win against Sky, but the record is overall even, has been unable to win upon encountering other ranked players, and has one unranked loss this season (Ambition). Jwilli? Many losses to unranked players, but perhaps slightly counterbalanced by a win vs. Slip at MKMT1. GCS? Has a win vs. [email protected] from MADD Asheville, but dipped out early in winner’s at MCMV to shredman3, though that remains his only unranked loss. Libner? Hasn’t shown up for anything. Vying for honorable mentions at least at this point are Gato, Haise and Ambition, who each have at least one win against a ranked player and scarce losses vs. unranked players. Calm before the Storm The first weekend of February has passed, and we have already seen some interesting results. At MCMVI, GCS was sent to losers by Tiger, who was then put into losers by brett3; Brett and GCS eventually met in loser’s finals and had a five game set. If these results do not interest you, have no fear: there’s plenty more chances for battle this month. While this weekend there is a brief lull in tournaments (presumably due to Valentine’s Day weekend), the weekend after hosts the next NEG event and the final iteration of a venerated NC tournament series, Midstate Massacre 6. This is likely to be widely attended by many players, including most of the current NC Power Rankings. To those who can’t make that, FPS follows the day after; and if that’s not enough, the final weekend of February has Pier Pressure 3, Gate City Smash 3 and The Plank @ Ox Monthly in Greenville. While FPS may not have a huge amount of non-Charlotte attendees due to its date proximity to MSM4, you can be sure to expect a high degree of competition at the other three events. Pier Pressure 3 is the last beach tournament of the season and is popular with smashers in Raleigh as a well-run, comfortable, multi-game event. Gate City Smash 3 is held in a time-honored venue, located relatively centrally, and hosted by well-loved long time Smashers Sneak and BEHR. Last but not least, while the Greenville Monthly happens on the same day as GCS3, high-level multi-game entrants such as Sharkz and Stingers do live in Raleigh, and their carpools may bring interesting competition to that venue too. Will doubles continue to be dominated by a Pokémon pair? Who pulls ahead first: Mike or Cam? How consistent are Kaeon, Stingers and Sharkz anyways? And just who is going to take responsibility and clean up those bodies in aisles 7 through HM? All this, and maybe more, awaits us in the next NC newsletter. Leave your thoughts, critiques, and comments below.
2015.09.15 16:29 funked_upUpcoming Job postings at New Belgium & Job fair for Asheville Outlets
New Belgium Press Release:
New Belgium Brewing is getting closer to opening their Asheville facilities with an 80-person team that is just over half way built. The 100% employee owned company made their first two Asheville hires co-owners at their annual retreat this summer, will hire approximately 40 additional positions before opening next spring. Additional positions will be hired through full build out over the next handful of years. “The skills of those living in the area are amazing and we have had a fantastic response,” says Annie Korenjak, Human Resources Manager, New Belgium, Asheville. “Nearly half of our Asheville leadership team and about half of our hires so far have been from the surrounding region. Asheville’s one talented place.” Positions in brewing, packaging, distribution, quality assurance and in the Liquid Center will start to post on their website in the next two weeks and through the next six months. In addition to a family-friendly benefit package with paid time off, at one year of employment coworkers receive ownership in the values-based company. All positions are full time with benefits. Some positions will have multiple hires for a single job posting. Liquid Center Representatives are the face of the tasting room, serving beer and sharing the company story through tours and conversation. Brewing Operators have responsibility for the brewing process, including mixing and blending raw materials all the way through fermented product. Packaging Equipment Techs operate and maintain high-speed packaging lines. Raw Materials Handlers assist production areas and the physical handling and inventorying of bulk raw materials. New Belgium’s hiring strategy is to find the best fit for each position, while also seeding their company values into their new workforce. The company identified a handful of seed positions, filled, where possible, by experienced and qualified New Belgium coworkers to serve as value catalysts internally in Asheville. Other positions are posted publicly on www.NewBelgium.com.
Asheville Outlets Press Release:
Area job seekers are invited to participate in Asheville Outlets‘ first on-site job fair. The event will take place on Wednesday, Sept. 16 from 11 am to 7 pm. Participating retailers will be hiring for full-time, part-time and seasonal positions. Clarks Outlet, Forever 21, Fragrance Outlet, Kitchen Collection, Maurice’s, Vera Bradley and Zales Outlet are just a few of the stores that will be hiring. In all, there will be over 50 retailers looking to fill open positions. Candidates should come dressed appropriately for a job interview and be prepared to meet with hiring managers on the spot. Applicants are also encouraged to bring several résumés. “Asheville Outlets is pleased to host our first on-site job fair to assist stores with hiring, particularly for the holidays. It is a one-stop-shop for job seekers looking to find employment.” said Sharon Morgan, General Manager of Asheville Outlets. For more information on the Job Fair, go to www.AshevilleOutlets.com/Jobs. To keep up-to-date on all Asheville Outlets news, events, and more, follow on Facebook @ashevilleoutlets, Twitter @shopasheville and Instagram @ashevilleoutlets. Or visit us online at www.shopashevilleoutlets.com
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